Beshert

“Though the term beshert can refer to any fortuitous event (“I missed the bus, but it must have been beshert, because I heard it broke down”), it is most often used to mean a soulmate: the one person whom an individual is divinely destined to marry.”
(from MOMENT)

Now going on approximately two months of #SocialDistancing and #StayAtHome, I think it’s remarkable that my husband and I (and our two cats) have actually had many peaceful and relaxing days TOGETHER. Of course there’s a bit of craziness over not being able to see our four kids (two raised by us and their mates) and especially knowing they are each on the Front-Lines of this COVID-19 pandemic. But Mark and I are finding after nearly 45-years of marriage that we are enjoying each other’s company, and, as I often quip to friends (on the phone or social media!) “We haven’t killed each other yet!”

We’ve found lots to talk about, share our concerns about our children’s safety and how much we miss them, enjoy laughing together at so many of the Facebook memes we come across, and have MANY date nights together finding movies on NetFlix or watching our favorite TV shows together. About 46-years ago when we had our first date I never imagined a life so filled with love and companionship… truthfully the first time he invited me out I honestly thought he was joking (Truth!) or I don’t think I would have actually said yes. But wow am I glad I did. Surprisingly, especially to me, we were engaged just a mere 14-days later.

Looking back on it I really believe that we were destined to spend our lives together. As we got to really know each other we found out so many ways that our lives intertwined long before we went out on our first date. Even now, so many years later I am still finding out the many ways we could have met, or at least gotten a chance to know each other. Just to mention a few of the ironies of our lives:

·       We went to the same High School, he was a year ahead of me. Yes I do remember one encounter in the school hallway when he was a school monitor and he ATTEMPTED to stop me from going to the auditorium (I was a Theatre Arts student) between class-periods. Shamefully I admit hitting him and running.

·       The high school was a specialized art school and we had nine scheduled periods a day plus home room where attendance was taken. My home room was with my very (also Mark’s) favorite teacher, Mr. Tatti taught sculpture. I will never forget the sculpted APE that sat in the front of the classroom, it wound up right in front of me. I remember thinking to myself who the heck would call himself an ape after I saw the engraved letters M E on the butt cheeks of this figure. I later found out that it was a class project created by none other than my husband to be and those were his initials!

·       Although we were both living in the Bronx (NYC) at the time, we traveled different train routes to and from our Manhattan based school. Among the regulars I traveled with was a classmate of his (Photography students). I didn’t know until long after our graduation that they even knew each other.

·       When I was a very little girl my Dad and two other friends founded a sports club and I often accompanied my Father to get togethers especially during my teen years. Mark worked for a fellow who at one time frequented this club and occasionally invited Mark to go with him. I don’t think we ever met up at this club.

·       And while there were so many other little things we had in common, the most ironic of all was, when I was gathering our papers for our marriage license, I noticed on our birth certificates, that we were born in the same hospital and delivered by the same doctor. Ironic because NYC is huge and Mark’s parents didn’t even live in the Bronx when he was born!

Mark and I finally REALLY MET a few years after we both graduated high school and pursued different interests. My parents encouraged my sister and me to give back to the community, and I joined the NYC Auxiliary Police at our local precinct; Mark eventually joined the same unit.

I really believe that we were destined to be in each other’s lives, Bershert! And I have to say, there is no one I would rather be Staying at Home with.

I hope that you are all staying safe and healthy and taking all of the precautions to remain healthy.

.

The Major Arcana in Life ~ #MondayBlogs

For anyone who has ever had a reading done with Tarot cards you know that each card carries a meaning, often changed if the card is laid upright or upside down; depending on the pattern that the cards fall in shows us how many answers are dependent on the things and people around us.

Aside from the suits Pentacles, Swords, Cups and Wands, the cards are also categorized into Minor and Major Arcana. Minor Arcana belong to the individual suits whereas the major arcana (I.e.: The Lovers; Judgement; The Hanged Man; The World; The Fool; and more [22 in total]) do not belong in the suits. While several of the minor arcana (8 of swords; 2 of cups; 5 of wands; and more [56 in total]) share similar meanings with the major set, the message is not as strong.

When reading the cards, the minor arcana indicate average day-to-day activities and influences. The major arcane on the other hand are more persistant, seems to carry more weight, and indicates that there are outside forces that factor into our lives and have significant bearing on the answer. The standard is when 4 or more major arcane show up in a reading then the result of the question often means that the outcome is not in the seeker’s control.

(*my mom used to read with a normal deck of playing cards and she was fairly accurate, however she always said the cards are not the final answer, only the most likely if everything continues on the same path. Most times you do have the power to alter the forecasted outcome)

But dang it gets frustrating when you life seems to all major arcane and we feel no control over our situation. There are times when we do everything “right” only to have those outside influences grab on. The person driving down the road, obeying all of the traffic signs and mileage, is struck by another car that is speeding and weaving – the outside influence was the OTHER driver – this situation may have been out of our control. Or how about when Mother Nature decides to flood our streets and we have water gushing into our homes, one would not be surprised to see several major arcane in the lay of the cards.

Truth is that even in the examples above we still retain some control (in the 1st we drove a car, in the 2^nd we decided to live in a low-lying flood prone area near a major waterway). It is always very wearisome when no matter how well we planned our actions, something unexpected happens to ruin the day. It doesn’t change the fact that this is the life we’ve been given and we have to decide to move on, to attempt to take back control of our lives. Things happen, sometimes they go wrong… and sometimes something better has been placed before us; we have to learn to recognize those moments and grab them while the opportunity exists.

Sometimes life is like that. We all know we’ve got to work “with the cards we’ve been dealt”, however it’s hard when we feel all that is being sent our way are major arcana. Never allow yourself to feel defeated and never give up. Garth Brooks sang a song called Unanswered Prayers and it serves as a good reminder that things don’t always go as planned and that could be a very good thing.

Just the other night at a hometown football game

My wife and I ran into my old high school flame

And as I introduced them the past came back to me

And I couldn't help but think of the way things used to be

She was the one that I'd wanted for all times

And each night I'd spend prayin' that God would make her mine

And if he'd only grant me this wish I wished back then

I'd never ask for anything again

Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers

Remember when you're talkin' to the man upstairs

That just because he doesn't answer doesn't mean he don't care

Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers