Beshert

“Though the term beshert can refer to any fortuitous event (“I missed the bus, but it must have been beshert, because I heard it broke down”), it is most often used to mean a soulmate: the one person whom an individual is divinely destined to marry.”
(from MOMENT)

Now going on approximately two months of #SocialDistancing and #StayAtHome, I think it’s remarkable that my husband and I (and our two cats) have actually had many peaceful and relaxing days TOGETHER. Of course there’s a bit of craziness over not being able to see our four kids (two raised by us and their mates) and especially knowing they are each on the Front-Lines of this COVID-19 pandemic. But Mark and I are finding after nearly 45-years of marriage that we are enjoying each other’s company, and, as I often quip to friends (on the phone or social media!) “We haven’t killed each other yet!”

We’ve found lots to talk about, share our concerns about our children’s safety and how much we miss them, enjoy laughing together at so many of the Facebook memes we come across, and have MANY date nights together finding movies on NetFlix or watching our favorite TV shows together. About 46-years ago when we had our first date I never imagined a life so filled with love and companionship… truthfully the first time he invited me out I honestly thought he was joking (Truth!) or I don’t think I would have actually said yes. But wow am I glad I did. Surprisingly, especially to me, we were engaged just a mere 14-days later.

Looking back on it I really believe that we were destined to spend our lives together. As we got to really know each other we found out so many ways that our lives intertwined long before we went out on our first date. Even now, so many years later I am still finding out the many ways we could have met, or at least gotten a chance to know each other. Just to mention a few of the ironies of our lives:

·       We went to the same High School, he was a year ahead of me. Yes I do remember one encounter in the school hallway when he was a school monitor and he ATTEMPTED to stop me from going to the auditorium (I was a Theatre Arts student) between class-periods. Shamefully I admit hitting him and running.

·       The high school was a specialized art school and we had nine scheduled periods a day plus home room where attendance was taken. My home room was with my very (also Mark’s) favorite teacher, Mr. Tatti taught sculpture. I will never forget the sculpted APE that sat in the front of the classroom, it wound up right in front of me. I remember thinking to myself who the heck would call himself an ape after I saw the engraved letters M E on the butt cheeks of this figure. I later found out that it was a class project created by none other than my husband to be and those were his initials!

·       Although we were both living in the Bronx (NYC) at the time, we traveled different train routes to and from our Manhattan based school. Among the regulars I traveled with was a classmate of his (Photography students). I didn’t know until long after our graduation that they even knew each other.

·       When I was a very little girl my Dad and two other friends founded a sports club and I often accompanied my Father to get togethers especially during my teen years. Mark worked for a fellow who at one time frequented this club and occasionally invited Mark to go with him. I don’t think we ever met up at this club.

·       And while there were so many other little things we had in common, the most ironic of all was, when I was gathering our papers for our marriage license, I noticed on our birth certificates, that we were born in the same hospital and delivered by the same doctor. Ironic because NYC is huge and Mark’s parents didn’t even live in the Bronx when he was born!

Mark and I finally REALLY MET a few years after we both graduated high school and pursued different interests. My parents encouraged my sister and me to give back to the community, and I joined the NYC Auxiliary Police at our local precinct; Mark eventually joined the same unit.

I really believe that we were destined to be in each other’s lives, Bershert! And I have to say, there is no one I would rather be Staying at Home with.

I hope that you are all staying safe and healthy and taking all of the precautions to remain healthy.

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A Whole New World

The world has seen catastrophes before, but the COVID-19 crisis has shaken us, filled many of us with fear, despair, and loss. This latest strain of the Corona Virus has caused a worldwide pandemic with more than 200-thousand deaths and nearly 3-million confirmed cases. In the United States alone we’ve lost over 52-thousand people and have more than a million confirmed cases.

Many American families have sheltered in place, schools are closed and many businesses shuttered (at least for now). The emotional toll of isolation, the insecurity of an income to pay day-to-day bills, and the surreal recordings of precautions intermingled with encouragement in the grocery stores have left scars on our psyche. Essential workers often keep themselves away from their spouses and children to ensure they don’t bring the virus through their own front doors. First responders such EMTs and Paramedics, Firefighters, Police Officers, and healthcare workers like nurses and doctors are overworked, overstressed, getting sick themselves and sometimes desperate to see an end even if it means taking their own precious lives.

If you or someone you know is in crisis, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (Lifeline) at 1-800-273-TALK (8255), or text the Crisis Text Line (text HELLO to 741741). Both services are free and available 24 hours a day, seven days a week. The deaf and hard of hearing can contact the Lifeline via TTY at 1-800-799-4889. All calls are confidential.

As bleak as it may seem, we are hoping for some light — The National Institutes of Health are coordinating worldwide research on both the treatment and development of a vaccine to fight COVID-19. Scientists and doctors are collaborating and combining research and statistics to find the best defense against this disease. Across the United States there are many reports of “the flattening curve” that show that #StayAtHome, Social Distancing, and the use of masks and gloves are helping. There are encouraging news reports about the human spirit, about helping to feed each other, applauding the efforts of essential workers, and families finding ways to stay in touch through the internet and phone lines. Several states are beginning to SLOWLY and CAUTIOUSLY open their businesses and other resources while monitoring all results and asking folks to continue using personal protective equipment and social distancing.

Many of us have become stronger, we’ve developed more interaction within our households, and we’ve found creative ways to keep on living as normally as possible. Teachers have stepped up to continue teaching their students through emails, video-chats and even singing drive-bys. Mom or Dad, or both, have stayed connected and learned to work from home. Several doctors have made use of telemedicine to check in on patients without any exposure to possible contaminants. Some of our leaders have stepped up to keep us informed with accurate facts, guidance and useful information to help our families through these days.

The world has changed and I doubt it will ever go back to the way it was before. Many of us will have learned a new respect for ALL of our essential workers, a respect that hopefully will stick with us even in better times. There will come a day when we can “hug” our loved ones that we haven’t seen for months, but we will also be more aware of safe practices with every contact.

Things WILL improve, but for now we all need to do our part. Even if you are allowed to return to work as we open our states again, keep that social distancing and personal protective gear in play. Continue frequent hand washing, sneeze into your elbow or tissues which you can properly dispose of, and keep wiping down surfaces that are frequently touched. Do it all now and help to flatten the curve, and do it later to remain healthy and strong.

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I wish you all health, happiness and the (soon) ability to spend time with family and friends.

#StayAtHome

The curve is flattening! And that is good news indeed, but it doesn’t mean that the danger is over. The COVID-19 virus is still out there. Because of the STAY-AT-HOME orders that many governors imposed, and because of the folks that chose to heed the advice as well as wear masks and gloves when they NEEDED to go out the rate of infection is slowing. This doesn’t mean it’s safe to gather in large groups YET, or that we could come and go freely in and out of stores and other attractions… This does prove that self-isolation and personal protection IS helping, for now it’s a good idea to continue, as we can, social distancing.

But we all know being stuck in the house can be
B O R I N G. There is only so much television to watch and only so much junk food to keep eating. And if your children are home from school (many schools will remain closed for the balance of the school year), well, there’s a reason you chose NOT to home school! Besides you probably miss your family and friends and even if you have immediate household members with you during this seeming house arrest, it can get lonely.

We will probably have more time ahead of us that we are expected to #StayAtHome but it doesn’t have to be quite as boring or lonely. If you have a phone, a smart-phone and/or computer, internet, a television, or some of the 2020s technology, there are things to do for YOU alone, for your family, and for your relatives and friends sequestered elsewhere.

Use the internet to travel! Yes, you can visit so many interesting places in a virtual state of mind. Take the family on a virtual tour of 6 National Parks in the South, you don’t even need to check your luggage, https://bit.ly/2xbafwg or decide to visit some fantastic online museums at https://bit.ly/2Vwi7jQ . Are you looking for something you AND your kids can enjoy together (as well as sneaking in some terrific learning opportunities)? Choose from several virtual field trips including farms, zoos, volcanoes, and mystery — just book yourself online at https://bit.ly/2V9m5jz. Who says you just have to stare at the same four walls?

It’s a great time to enrich yourselves both physically and mentally. Find lots of online exercise programs from Aerobics to Zumba. Just type exercise programs into your search bar and find free online videos of Cardio, Yoga, Pilates, Barre, strength training, muscle building, dance and more. You can even find age appropriate programs for kids to seniors. Check out Silver Sneakers for adults over 50 at https://youtu.be/3vMRccmpXC8, relieve some of the stress you been feeling with a free Yoga meditation class at https://bit.ly/2XAZttV, or help your kids work out some of their pent-up energy at https://youtu.be/WxSexSQJmKY.  

Keep your students learning or just augment online lessons from your child’s teacher, sign up for a FREE account at https://www.khanacademy.org/, various subjects are included for K through grade 12. And why not take the time to learn a variety of subjects for yourself? Check out free online First Aid, CPR and AED courses https://www.firstaidforfree.com/ , learn a language for free at https://www.duolingo.com/, develop creative writing skills with the original blogs that the Living, Writing, Breathing Amazon Kindle Blog was based on at https://bit.ly/2Vtk80i, or take college level classes for free (nominal fee for final exams) at https://bit.ly/2yj5bFX. And don’t forget to check online resources on your local library’s website, your library card is usually needed for access.

Finally while you may not be able to have face-to-face in person contact with your extended family and friends, there is NO reason you can’t spend time together. Download free apps from SKYPE or ZOOM for group get togethers, or Facebook messenger video chat for just two locations. Celebrate happy occasions, share Sunday dinners (each have your own dinners and share table chat), or even have fun trivia games, charades or even book club meetings over the internet! Whether you use a computer or just call people on the phone, hearing each other’s voices will do you all a world of good.

I just wanted to take a moment to thank all of our 1^st Responders, Medical Professionals and essential workers who are helping to keep our country running.

Wishing you all health and safety and a time when we can all meet again.

.

#StayAtHome  Prevent the Spread

  

What a Strange Time This Is

Passover, Easter, Ramadan… we are NOT cancelling our holidays, but we are celebrating/observing with a little less family at our tables and without the time we normally spend in our house of worship.

If you observe one of these holidays, like me, I am sure you are thinking, it doesn’t even feel like… Passover has always been one of my favorite holidays. As a young child I would go to sleep the night before and when I woke in the morning, like magic, everything in the kitchen had changed. I truly thought it was magical and never realized the hours my mom spent to “kasher” (clean) the kitchen, change dishes and restock the pantry with the type of food we would be permitted to eat over the next eight days. Even more fun were the Seders where we told the story of the Exodus and my parents hosted dinner for so many relatives. And oh the fun of taking that first bite of horseradish and watching to see who ran first for a tall glass of water!

When I got married, by then I knew the work involved, but it was so worth it. After my parents passed I started hosting large Seders and sometimes there were as many as 24 at our table. It was a lot of work, not magic, but as I watched my own children’s faces it was so very worth it. As they grew they would always ask their friends to come over, it was always a special time whether our guests observed or not. I admit as I gotten older and our children are now adults with their own spouses and homes, I’ve begun to cater the size of the crowd a bit because, yes, it is a lot of work.

And this year (sigh), it is all different. Our son and daughter-in-love are EMTs and in the frontlines of this COVID crisis; our son-in-love is with the FD and also on the frontlines and our daughter waits for him each day at home. This year our Seder table will seat just the two of us, my husband and me. Between the important work they are all doing, the Stay-at-Home orders, and the scary risk of infections, we will be just the two of us. Our daughter is planning to “host” a short ZOOM Seder on the 2^nd night so at least through the gift of electronics we can share a bit of the holiday with them. If our son and his wife have the time in te very busy schedules, maybe we’ll see them too.

I shouldn’t be complaining, I know. Everything just feels so surreal. Shopping was an adventure as we certainly couldn’t go hopping from store to store, so many of the shelves were bare anyway. We certainly have more than enough, especially since it is JUST THE TWO OF US. I am thankful it is the two of us, we have each other at a time when families are being destroyed. And I am thankful that we can use a computer and pretend, at least for a short while, that we are actually together with our offspring. I know I will get choked up when, at the end of the Seder service, we say the line “Next year in Israel”, what I will really be wishing for is “Next year with our family.”

I wish all of you a warm and loving holiday season and the promise of your family’s safety and health and that next year you can all be together to celebrate.