Saturday, March 15, 2014

Lon shows his concern - Weekend Writing Warriors / #8sunday / 03/16/14

Hi! Welcome to another Weekend Writing Warrior round. Every week writers post 8 sentences on their blogs from a published or unpublished book. Then we "hop" around and leave comments on each other's snippets. Whether our work is already published or in progress, the helpful comments help us become stronger writers on our next WIP. We welcome EVERYONE's comments.

See more at the WeWriWa blog

Welcome to a snippet from Bartlett's Rule, my first novel published with Vanilla Heart Publishing. Even though this piece is already published, I find that receiving your comments is helpful as I write future stories - you strengthen me when I know how well (or not) I communicate with my readers, and I learn what readers like and don't care for. I really appreciate you for giving me your time.

Paige panicked while in bed with Lon for the first time. His first impulse was to get the Hell out of there - but he was more concerned about the fragile state of the woman he was with. After some gentle coaxing he persuades her to put a robe on and join him in the kitchen for a cup of coffee (once again, I've been creative with punctuation)...

“Did you think I was going to, I don’t know, force myself on you”, he saw that she looked away and tears stained her cheeks again. He imagined all kinds of responses, “Paige, did someone once force himself on you?” She squeezed her eyes shut and bit her lip; he could barely find his voice, it was unimaginable; “were you raped,” there was no gentle way to ask.
The pain in her eyes was all the answer he needed, he was indignant, “when did this happen, did they catch the guy;” it always angered him when he heard of a man hurting a woman.
Paige felt as if a long time passed before she could answer, “it was almost three years ago, it was my ex-fiancĂ©,” she tried to escape his stare.
“Your fiancĂ© raped you, why?”
“Ex, and I don’t know why,” she answered him sarcastically. “I don’t even know why I’m telling you; why should I expect that you would believe me?”
“I didn’t mean…” Lon shook his head, “it doesn’t matter what sick reason he had; he had no right to do that to you.”

 For more WeWriWa snippets, go to

Bartlett's Rule shares the story of Lon and Paige's love affair; a romance filled with hardship, emotion, danger and triumph. Falling in love was never the challenge; being there for each other, knowing just what to say and making it work is the real test. Paige and Lon are real; they are human, they cry and they laugh. Paige has to learn to trust. Lon has to learn to be patient.

Smashwords (multiple e-book formats)

Amazon (Kindle, Print, Audio)

AllRomance E-books

Bartlett’s Rule was named one of
Carolyn Howard-Johnson’s 
Top Ten Reads for 2009

Today is Purim 
Have a virtual Hamentash
& enjoy reading these snippets


Debbie D. said...

Very emotional scene. I can imagine how difficult it must have been for Paige. Nice of Lon to stick around and reassure her. He must really like her!

Marcia said...

Very tense. I like that he's not afraid to show real concern for her. I think their future together has promise!

Charmaine Gordon said...

Excellent snippet, Chelle. Love the way he has to force the confession from her and still care.

Teresa Cypher said...

Good snippet. You've brought great tension and emotions to this scene, Chelle. :-)

And now I really want some cookies.

Chag Purim Sameach! :-)

Anonymous said...

I think he really cares for her.

Veronica Scott said...

I like Lon's instinctive reactions and I think it's very realistic the way he doesn't quite say the right things in the right order, but he obviously cares. Great snippet!

Anonymous said...

Poor Paige, it sounds like she's been doubted before. Which is sadly accurate--that "why would you believe me" line gets me right in the throat.

Unknown said...

Oh, I hope she can relax and let him in to her confidence. He's the kind of man you want by your side.

Cynthia Hudson Keane said...

Great snippet, Chelle!! My heart hurts for them both..he asks a dumb question, with no intention of hurting her but the "why?" There is no "why" to rape, is there? Perhaps it is something that most men simply cannot understand and you brought that home with that one line. Terrific job!

Linda said...

So emotional, I like his reaction. Now just give her a huge.