Saturday, January 2, 2016

Her name is Deborah ~ Weekend Writing Warriors / #8sunday / 01/03/16

Hi! Welcome to another Weekend Writing Warrior and Snippet Sunday round. Every week writers post 8-to-10 sentences on their blogs from a published or unpublished book. Then we "hop" around and leave comments on each other's snippets. Whether our work is already published or in progress, the helpful comments help us become stronger writers on our next WIP. We welcome EVERYONE's comments.

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I'm sharing snippets from Stormy Weather, one of the short stories in The Many Faces of Chelle Cordero collection. 

Last week the handsome stranger introduced himself, his name is Bruce. He seems interested, she seems irritated. He's persistent, she tries to keep a distance. Debbie wants to discourage his company...

Creative editing alert!  Here are nine more lines... 

“So why are you in Miami Beach?”
“I’m on vacation,” Debbie turned to look at him, she stood with a hand on a hip. “Thank you for your help in the water, but I’m not the kind of woman that picks up a vacation fling in case that’s why you’re following me.”
“Don’t worry I’m not interested in being a tourist attraction,” he managed to smile as he spoke. “Now that we’ve got that understood, are you going to tell me what I can call you?”
She chewed the inside of her lip for a moment, “my name is Deborah.”
“Hi Deborah, do your friends call you Debbie?”
“My friends do.”
He chuckled, “okay Debbie, what hotel are you staying at?”

For more WeWriWa Snippets, go to:

The Many Faces of Chelle Cordero is a single author collection of short stories featuring Introduction, Pussycat Tails, Holiday Happiness, Not Alone, I Swear That Raccoon Just Knocked on the Door, Stormy Weather, A Mother’s Love, More Than a Friend, The Meeting, The Vacation and a special bonus section.

Stormy Weather
The ominous skies and howling winds of a hurricane lead to an unexpected and warmhearted friendship.


Goodness, it feels like we just met with our accountant to have our taxes done! How did a whole year manage to slip by so very fast? I mentioned to my husband that I had to start getting my records ready for taxes again and I felt like my head was going to spin.

I've been posting #WeWriWa snippets since September 2013, that also doesn't feel like that long ago. What I find marvelous about this community is the ability to sharpen skills and have a better understanding of my own writing. Even though most of what I've posted has been already published material, when I read the comments and the impressions from the rest of you, I can see if the point that I want made is actually clear. Your comments have also helped me see some of my characters through other eyes. The writer (me) knows what she means to say, now is what she means actually being said? 

Another "I can't believe it's been that long!" was my husband and my 40th anniversary; that is certainly the longest I've ever gone steady with one guy, lol. I wrote a humorous fairy tale (I hope humorous)on this blog-site earlier this week about our whirlwind courtship, The FairyTale of Love.

Well I am just rambling. I hope everyone has had a FANTABULOUS start to 2016. Thanks for stopping by and I am grateful for any comments you'd like to make.


Teresa Cypher said...

Uh oh--she can be a bit testy. Not sure if I'd presume I was a friend and could call her Debbie. That will make for fun reading, though. :-)

Happy anniversary! Forty years--that is wonderful, Chelle!

You have been with wewriwa a looong time! I'm glad for that. We've become a community of friends. :-)

Taxes...oh, I don't even want to think about them.

Kim M said...

He certainly has no problems with his self-esteem. Debbie is a prickly one, for sure!
Congratulations on the awesome anniversary!

Kim M said...

He certainly has no problems with his self-esteem. Debbie is a prickly one, for sure!
Congratulations on the awesome anniversary!

The Belle in Blue said...

He's adorable! I don't know how she's resisting him, but it will be fun to see how he melts this Ice Princess. She needs to "Let it Go!" ;-)

~Joyce Scarbrough

Jennifer said...

He's a charmer. LOL! Great snippet. :)

Rachel de Vine said...

Her irritation and his persistence came across very well. Interesting snippet.

Charmaine Gordon said...

She says Tomatoe and he say Tomato. I'm enjoying this give and no take very much. Is a storm coming soon?

Veronica Scott said...

This guy isn't easy to discourage, that's for sure! But I'm enjoying the back and forth between them a LOT. Congratulations on the 40th!

PT said...

He most definitely is persistent. I love his comment about not being a tourist attraction.

Unknown said...

Ooh, I hate it when people use your nickname without permission--or worse, give you one without asking!

Don't tell him anything!

Linda said...

Wow, he is sort of pushy. I think I'll be very annoyed with him just about now.

Siobhan Muir said...

He's persistent, I'll give him that. Good snippet, Chelle, and congrats on the 40th Anniversary. :)

Anonymous said...

So far she's not having any luck discouraging his attentions. Better luck next time?

Elaine Cantrell said...

I love the line about the tourist attraction. In fact, I like both of them.

Karen Michelle Nutt said...

I loved the banter. Her sarcasm and his comebacks. Great snippet.

diannehartsock said...

He's persistent! I do like his confidence, but wonder if it will get him anywhere. :)

Anonymous said...

I wish I could point to what it is exactly that I love about this type of dialogue. All I can say is I end up liking both characters more by the end. Even that "Debbie" line, which almost deserves a punch, has me smiling.

JTsuruoka said...

Great banter. I love great banter, especially when it feels natural and advances plot at the same time.

Anonymous said...

Love the banter between these two. I get the feeling he's going to be slapped for that last comment though.