Hi! Welcome to another Weekend Writing Warrior and Snippet Sunday round. Every week writers post 8-to-10 sentences on their blogs from a published or unpublished book. Then we "hop" around and leave comments on each other's snippets. Whether our work is already published or in progress, the helpful comments help us become stronger writers on our next WIP. We welcome EVERYONE's comments.
A long, long time ago I shared a few snippets from my Paranormal Romantic Suspense, Karma Visited (only 5) - and we didn't get a full taste of this story. Since I am working on a sequel and revisiting the story for myself, I'm sharing more with you and soaking up your comments.
Do you believe in karma? Annie Furman has a gift that allows her, while she sleeps, to visit people in their time of need - but who will be there for her when she needs help? Undersheriff Dave Turner is investigating a series of home invasions and homicides. He has no idea that solving this case will lead him to the woman of his dreams.
Listening to a woman no one else seemed to hear or see, Dave directed his officers to where the kidnapped girl was being held. Dave noticed the victim looked directly at the apparition he saw, but she said nothing, and no one else could see the woman. Dave stays behind after the victim is transported to the hospital and the police leave with the remaining kidnapper. With no one else to witness him, Dave turns back to Annie...
Creative editing alert! Here are eight lines...
“They were all just pretending
that you weren’t here, this is some kind of joke, isn’t it?”
“No one can see me, only
the people I come to help, I don’t know why you can see me.”
“Wait a minute,” he
stared in silence as recognition dawned, “I saw you at that car accident.”
“I wasn’t there,” she
paused and then whispered, “what happened to the children?”
“They lived, come back to
the office with me, I need your statement.”
“I can’t, I’m dreaming... in my bed... at home.”
Dave’s facial expressions
went from confusion to disbelief, “you’re standing right here.”
“I think I’m ready to
wake up now,” then she was gone.
~~~~~
For more WeWriWa Snippets, go to:
My life changed after I died.
It’s not like I had any special powers.
They just didn’t understand me.
They underestimated me.
I had a gift.
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~~~~~
16 comments:
I'm hoping the next snippet isn't at a mental hospital, with the hero checking himself in.
What a great dialogue ... I love her answers ... so true, but so unreal. Great snippet!
I love the dialogue! It makes me want to read more - what's his reaction going to be? Great snippet!
Excellent story premise!
Wow. Really good. Excellent choice of a snippet.
LOL I agree with Ed! Good scene though, I think both characters are going to be a little mixed up. Good for the story!
Well if that doesn't blow his mind, I don't know what will!
What a stunner! She'll be upset too.
This is SUCH a cool story! I love that he can see her...can't wait for more, great snippet.
I can see why he wants to believe this is an elaborate joke... but really, in those circumstances, the police/medics would not be joking around.
Poor David. I'm sure he's freaked out.
I can't wait to see the look on his face after that exit. :) :)
Wow, I love where this is going. I can't wait to see what happens next.
I love how mysterious this is! Is she really dreaming in bed and did she travel somewhere in her dreams or is that dude seeing things?? Great snippet.
This is really messing with my head, so I can only imagine how poor Dave feels! ;-)
~Joyce Scarbrough
Poor Dave! I'm betting that he's thinking that he needs a loooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnggggggggggg vacation!
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