LIFE HAPPENS

 

As we go through life there are many "ups-and-downs". As for the "downs", most times the effect is momentary, and we just get on with life. Some of the "downs" do stay with us such as the loss of a loved one, but many find HEALTHY coping mechanisms and get back to living their lives — never forgetting but managing to move forward. And then there are those who find that they need help… it is not wrong to need help, it doesn't make anyone "less" or "damaged", it is just sometimes we need something more than what we can muster from within (kind of like needing medicine to get over an ailment).

 

We can find HEALTHY forms of help all around us. Sometimes we need to speak with a PROFESSIONAL, a counselor or psychiatrist. Sometimes we can speak with a compassionate and well-meaning friend. Sometimes we find the strength we need to move on within a group-support system; as a friend recently said, "who else should I turn to but people who know EXACTLY what I am going through?" So long as you don't balk at the idea that you are, after all, only human and sometimes need help mending after a trauma, it really doesn't matter so long as you don't ignore your pain and let it fester (again, an analogy, letting an infection continue to grow instead of taking medicine will only cause a lot more problems).

 

We are all different and each one of us, AND ONLY THAT ONE OF US, needs to decide when and how to reach out for help. A method which may work for someone else is not necessarily the right method for all. If you have reached out, whether it is a wise-friend, a PRIVATE support group on social media, an in-person group led by a counselor, or a one-on-one with a Social Worker or Psychiatrist, then it is up to you, AND ONLY YOU, to decide if this is the help you need. If you can feel the healing and strength, then you have probably made the best decision for you. If you aren't feeling some form of relief and mending, then it may be time to move to another step. There is NO weakness in needing AND ACCEPTING help. And again, WHAT WORKS FOR ONE PERSON IS NOT AUTOMATICALLY WHAT EVERYONE ELSE (including you) NEEDS.

 

If you find yourself struggling, there are resources (here are just a FEW):

Online Therapy Services  https://bit.ly/3qGXyT8
Alcoholics Anonymous ~ find help  https://aa.org/
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline  1-800-273-8255
Suicide prevention/Veterans with PTSD  1-800-273-TALK [in the U.S.]
Support for Caregivers  https://bit.ly/3Dw4c24
Grieving the Loss of a Child  https://bit.ly/3ck3DfM

(no endorsements are implied) 

  

Being in Charge

 

“To succeed, jump as quickly at opportunities as you do at conclusions.”
Benjamin Franklin

 

Talk about challenging, being in charge of an organization that has the power to make decisions for a large group of people is a monumental task… especially when your focus is the true welfare of said people.

 

While you may not always make the best decision, it’s an arduous task to weigh the options — hopefully you are not alone in this task. Perhaps you are part of a Board or a panel that has the combined responsibility. Invariably there are those, not in the arduous position of responsibility, who will claim to “know better” than you (combined or singular). It can be very frustrating.

 

Rely on written guidelines (By-Laws or State/Local laws) as much as you can. Understand that sometimes the “attack” is not really at you but may be a thinly disguised attempt at self-promotion; and yes, sometimes it is simply because the premise you are supporting is not well understood by others.

 

If you have a total of 100 people including eight in charge (just a mild example) and ONE singular person who is pushing a self-focused agenda, it may all depend on the “explanation”. Never be impatient when asked for details, if it is something you can’t say (because you are not allowed to or don’t know), be honest. If someone is asking, they are looking to understand and if you don’t provide the answers the other person MIGHT supply answers they THINK others want to hear.

 

MOST people who take positions “of power”, sitting on a board or taking another leadership role, are well-intentioned, ESPECIALLY IF IT IS VOLUNTARY WITHOUT FINANCIAL COMPENSATION. Sitting in that position of power also makes one a “target”. If you are working in earnest to help the people around you, go by the “book”, are willing to listen to others, and remain humble, then you are just doing the best you can.

 

Don’t ever let someone else’s attack destroy you or discourage your future benevolence. Unfortunately, there are those who may not be honest or transparent with their true intentions — never let them rob you of your decency, never let them discourage your desire and ability to help others.

 

There are all kinds of people in this world, ultimately you are the one who must live with yourself. Continue to be kind and be good.

 

And thank you for your magnanimity. People do appreciate you.