TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOURSELF

When you enter a relationship, or even just are born into a family, you have a responsibility to care for yourself as well as the people you care about. Yep, that is one of the more important things in any relationship… don’t scare the you-know-what out of those people who love you if you can do ANYTHING to avoid it.

 

Illness happens, and so do accidents, but when you ignore common sense or act recklessly you are literally betraying the trust that the person(s) who love you have. We are not possessions but when hearts are involved there is a very fragile surface that easily bruises. If you have ever worried about a loved one recovering from severe illness or sat in a hospital waiting room until a surgery is (successfully) completed, I am sure you understand what I mean.

 

While there are never any real guarantees, things like proper nutrition, avoidance of illicit drugs and excessive alcohol, not smoking, getting sufficient rest, and not taking unnecessary risks while driving or other activities, will help to minimize the chances of your loved one(s) pain and tears because of you. As I already said, sometimes illness does happen — well then follow doctor’s orders and keep things under control, or even better, get cured. And while there are other drivers on the road and sometimes no matter how careful you are there’s a bump or worse, so wear your seatbelt, make sure your car is road-ready, and stay attentive. Always cut the risk down.

 

Worrying about someone can also play havoc with your own health, but it is hard NOT to worry when someone you love is hurt or ill. Learn ways to relax and not to “worry yourself sick” — yeah, that is a real thing. Learn to focus on the things in front of you, things that you can manage and not let your imagination go places it should not. Being so stressed over things you can’t control will only be made worse by not taking proper care of yourself like forgetting to eat properly, not getting enough sleep, or using crutches like alcohol or drugs. Practice slow deep breathing to help relax your body and your muscles; if necessary, literally “go to a happy place” in your mind, imagine being on that beach or mountain top where you once felt so at peace.

 

Taking care of yourself when you are worried about someone else is also a responsibility, prevent yourself from getting sick. When your heart feels like it is beating too fast for your own body, your palms feel sweaty, or you begin crying without warning, then perhaps you are suffering from anxiety. In addition to meditation and deep breathing, you can try taking a walk or working out in the gym. Aromatherapy scents such as lavender, chamomile, and sandalwood have been thought to help the mind’s receptors and help to ease some of that anxiety. Writing your thoughts down can also help, looking at the thoughts that are making you anxious might help you realize what is real and what is only imagined, or exaggerated, and may even help you make a plan that will help you feel calmer.

 

If your anxiety seems out of control and if you really feel paralyzed, unable to function anywhere near normal, or even start contemplating dying, speaking to a licensed therapist would probably help. Don’t allow yourself to drown in panic, guilt, or fear. A professional can help you identify triggers, help you to learn calming methods, or perhaps prescribing anti-anxiety meds, could help. If you need help, get help and take care of yourself.

 

#DailyPrompt ~ Cringe ~#MondayBlogs

I found a terrific writing site (thanks to my friend Sugana) — The Daily Post: Daily Prompts provides a NEW daily prompt every day to give every writer a way to put a spark in her/his creativity. I decided to join this group every so often...

Today's Prompt is CRINGE

 The definition of CRINGE: [verb] cringe/krinj, to bend one's head and body in fear or in a servile manner; such as "he cringed away from the blow"   synonyms: cower, shrink, recoil, shy away, flinch, blench, draw back

As a child I cringed when the doctor pulled out a needle and gave me a shot in the arm. I also cringed when a teacher pulled a surprise quiz on the class. Childhood fears (for most of us) certainly seem like minor inconveniences after we grow into adulthood. Not that getting punished by your parents, or being lost in a huge department store, or facing off a childhood bully weren’t scare-worthy events…

The day my husband and I closed on our house I remember walking into the entryway using MY key and completely cringing as I stared at the stairs leading up thinking “oh my G-d, what did we do? How are we ever going to pay this off? It’s just too much responsibility!” That same house would become a haven to us, raised a family, always had pussycats pretending to be the 4 A.M. express running through the house, and was filled with constant laughter and lots of love. And yes, we were able to pay it off.

When each of our children learned to drive I cringed each time they went out and breathed an enormous sigh of relief when they arrived back home in one piece. There were many other moments through my life that I cringed in anticipation of hearing the phone ring late at night, or opened a hospital bill that I swore just couldn’t be right, or went to bed worried about something or other and woke from a frightening nightmare. Plenty of opportunities to cringe, shake with nervousness, and lose sleep and in the end plenty of time to simply sigh with relief and laugh at myself for all of the worrying.

The thing I have learned through the years is not to allow yourself to be paralyzed with fear wondering and worrying about things that MIGHT happen. While there are indeed upsetting and sometimes even earth-shattering things that can happen in all of our lives, wasting time worrying is just that, a waste of time. Nobody knows what will happen tomorrow, but if you don’t take advantage of living fully today because you are too busy cringing then that is 24-hours you will never ever get back.

Allowing fear to make you lose precious time with your loved ones, enjoy a good book, let the sun warm your skin, or simply appreciate the scenery is definitely a loss that is cringe-worthy.

An Open Note to My Offspring ~ #MondayBlogs

Just because you are grown, married and self-supporting adults does not mean that I, as your mother, the woman who raised you, will not stop worrying about you and caring about your welfare.

A mother's heart doesn't turn off after 18-years, it doesn't even turn off after 30 or 40. And if your mother is still around when you have your own charges to worry about, she will still experience frantic moments of concern, irrational fears, and shed tears whenever you are hurting.

When I hear of mayhem and connect it, correctly or not, to the place you might be, I can't describe the paralyzing fear that I feel suspended in. When you are ill I am perfectly ready to trade places with you if only you will be well. And when you have reason to cry, your tears slice right through me with pain almost too heavy to bear.

You are my child... forever. And it is my right, not obligation, to carry you in my heart. Ironically even the children I did not raise, who became my children after becoming your love, also get a healthy share of my concern and worry. This is all just a mother's love.

And now that you are adults and making your own way in this world I adore and chuckle when you show a similar anxiety for my well-being, when you worry about my driving home from your place, or when you call me on my cell and demand "Where are you?" simply because I didn't answer my phone at home. I love the concern you have for your dad and me and maybe you can understand a tiny bit how I feel.

So when I ask you to text me when you get home or call me when you're late arriving, or I express my worries about the distance you are driving in nasty weather — laugh at me if you want, but please don't ignore my pleas. This is the way I was programmed from the moment I heard your first heartbeat, I knew I loved you and would always care about you.

Call me neurotic...

Call me a worrywart...

Call me Mom.