Saturday, March 8, 2014

Paige reacts strangely, Lon is confused ~ Weekend Writing Warriors / #8sunday / 03/09/14

Hi! Welcome to another Weekend Writing Warrior round. Every week writers post 8 sentences on their blogs from a published or unpublished book. Then we "hop" around and leave comments on each other's snippets. Whether our work is already published or in progress, the helpful comments help us become stronger writers on our next WIP. We welcome EVERYONE's comments.

See more at the WeWriWa blog

Welcome to a snippet from Bartlett's Rule, my first novel published with Vanilla Heart Publishing. Even though this piece is already published, I find that receiving your comments is helpful as I write future stories - you strengthen me when I know how well (or not) I communicate with my readers, and I learn what readers like and don't care for. I really appreciate you for giving me your time.

Paige has gone out with Lon a few times and although she still is very reserved around him, she invites him back to her apartment and suggests that it's time to "be together". Lon is thrown off balance, he is used to being the one to initiate a seduction, but he can't deny he wants to be with her. He is careful to make sure this is what Paige really wants and they go to bed  - that's when Paige panics...  (yes, creative punctuation and so forth)

“Lon... stop.”
“What?” he raised his head to look at her and was puzzled to see tears in her eyes, “what’s the matter, am I hurting you?”; his fingers had stilled but he still held her beneath him.
Her breathing became more rapid, “get off of me.”
He realized she wasn’t panting, she was panicking, “what’s the matter Paige?”
“Get off of me,” she sounded terrified.
Lon released her and rolled to his side; Paige scampered off of the bed and slid down against the wall; her knees were drawn to her chest to hide her nudity, she whimpered.
He snapped on the light and looked at her, “what the hell just happened, Paige?”; it hurt to sit in his still aroused state as he watched her curiously.
She mumbled something through her tears; the only words he could make out were “I’m sorry.”

For more WeWriWa Snippets, go to: 
Bartlett's Rule shares the story of Lon and Paige's love affair; a romance filled with hardship, emotion, danger and triumph. Falling in love was never the challenge; being there for each other, knowing just what to say and making it work is the real test. Paige and Lon are real; they are human, they cry and they laugh. Paige has to learn to trust. Lon has to learn to be patient.

This weekend ends Read-an-E-book-Week 2014
Hope you've made use of wonderful e-book download sites like
Smashwords, Amazon (Kindle), Barnes&Noble (Nook),
AllRomance E-books, Kobo, & more...


Charmaine Gordon said...

What a shocker. You've got this reader hooked, Chelle. It's a what happens next to make a reader turn pages. Our goal as writers. And you've accomplished this in eight. Good job.

Sandra Nachlinger said...

I'd keep reading to find out what was causing Paige to panic and what she would say to Lon. Lots of drama in this scene.

Unknown said...

Oh poor girl. She's been hurt before...I hope he's compassionate.

Veronica Scott said...

Dramatic scene, makes me worried for her, so I'd definitely keep reading. Very effective excerpt!

Cynthia Hudson Keane said...

I feel so bad for both of them...both seem very confused and hurt at the moment and at a time when they are at their most venerable. Wonderful, touching snippet!

Teresa Cypher said...

Not the way it seemed it would go. Poor Paige...and poor Lon. Great emotion coming through the words, Chelle. :-)

Chelle Cordero said...

Millie, you are really astute!
Thank you everyone for your valuable comments.

Anonymous said...

Sounds like she's trying to get over something in her past and finds she's not as ready as she thought.