Holiday Greetings ~ Stop the Spread

 

Last week I spoke about seeing my family via ZOOM for Thanksgiving.  It was a wonderful success; not everyone was able to make it, but we did have a nice crowd. We were later able to touch base with the few family members whose work and other obligations kept them away.

As wonderful as it was to see faces and get to speak in real time, it also was very poignant. This is life now, MAYBE one day things will go back to “normal", but really what will our new normal be?

Will we ever feel safe hugging each other again? Will we see that friend that we haven’t seen in …forever and will we be able to hug and exchange kisses on the cheek? Will we be able to stand close, sharing secrets, and actually see a smile?

Whatever our new normal will be, it will never be the same because the last eight months happened. Sad, but true.  I'm sure we will find a way to deal with it all, but when we think about the way things used to be, we'll miss it.

Now that the Thanksgiving holiday is behind us and we are coming up on Hanukkah, Christmas and New Year's; once again our collective celebrations will be long distance. Yes, I am feeling a little sad, maybe a lot sad, but celebrating together puts our loved ones (and us, the seniors) at risk – and goes against the restrictions set by our respective lawmakers.

I'm not a happy camper…but, thank goodness for all of the instant messaging and virtual media available to us in 2020 (and soon 2021). As much as I miss the real feeling of my children's hugs, I would rather have more months of these virtual visits and the knowledge that one day we will all still be here to enjoy our moments TOGETHER.

However, as I sit here I am reading about the COVID rates rising all around us and these increases suspiciously coincide with both the Halloween and Thanksgiving festivities where some folks did have groups together without masks or social distancing. It’s sad to think that our precious moments with family and friends could have devastating consequences and illness.

But it is true, just today I heard of someone just finding out about a potential exposure he had on the Tuesday before Thanksgiving; G-d forbid, but if he is now positive, then anyone he spent Thanksgiving with is now exposed.

With Hanukkah, Christmas, and New Year’s Eve just around the corner, we need to remain vigilant and social distance even from those we love and care about — if for no other reason than we love and care about them. The sooner we can stop the spread, the sooner we CAN get together when we want to and not worry about our loved ones getting sick.

Let’s make 2021 a healthier and happier year than we’ve just had. We can do it.

 

 

What a Strange Time This Is

Passover, Easter, Ramadan… we are NOT cancelling our holidays, but we are celebrating/observing with a little less family at our tables and without the time we normally spend in our house of worship.

If you observe one of these holidays, like me, I am sure you are thinking, it doesn’t even feel like… Passover has always been one of my favorite holidays. As a young child I would go to sleep the night before and when I woke in the morning, like magic, everything in the kitchen had changed. I truly thought it was magical and never realized the hours my mom spent to “kasher” (clean) the kitchen, change dishes and restock the pantry with the type of food we would be permitted to eat over the next eight days. Even more fun were the Seders where we told the story of the Exodus and my parents hosted dinner for so many relatives. And oh the fun of taking that first bite of horseradish and watching to see who ran first for a tall glass of water!

When I got married, by then I knew the work involved, but it was so worth it. After my parents passed I started hosting large Seders and sometimes there were as many as 24 at our table. It was a lot of work, not magic, but as I watched my own children’s faces it was so very worth it. As they grew they would always ask their friends to come over, it was always a special time whether our guests observed or not. I admit as I gotten older and our children are now adults with their own spouses and homes, I’ve begun to cater the size of the crowd a bit because, yes, it is a lot of work.

And this year (sigh), it is all different. Our son and daughter-in-love are EMTs and in the frontlines of this COVID crisis; our son-in-love is with the FD and also on the frontlines and our daughter waits for him each day at home. This year our Seder table will seat just the two of us, my husband and me. Between the important work they are all doing, the Stay-at-Home orders, and the scary risk of infections, we will be just the two of us. Our daughter is planning to “host” a short ZOOM Seder on the 2^nd night so at least through the gift of electronics we can share a bit of the holiday with them. If our son and his wife have the time in te very busy schedules, maybe we’ll see them too.

I shouldn’t be complaining, I know. Everything just feels so surreal. Shopping was an adventure as we certainly couldn’t go hopping from store to store, so many of the shelves were bare anyway. We certainly have more than enough, especially since it is JUST THE TWO OF US. I am thankful it is the two of us, we have each other at a time when families are being destroyed. And I am thankful that we can use a computer and pretend, at least for a short while, that we are actually together with our offspring. I know I will get choked up when, at the end of the Seder service, we say the line “Next year in Israel”, what I will really be wishing for is “Next year with our family.”

I wish all of you a warm and loving holiday season and the promise of your family’s safety and health and that next year you can all be together to celebrate.

Holiday Festivities

I was extremely fortunate to grow up with extended inter-faith family. While we celebrated the Jewish holidays in our home, we often had the chance to enjoy helping relatives and friends decorate their Christmas trees, hunt for Easter eggs and sometimes, yes, attend Christmas Eve mass. Our family and friends joined us for latkes and playing dreidels, matzah brei and long Seders, walking to shul and standing in the back with me for High Holy Day services. And the wonderful thing was, everything involved family, love, and the history of our ancestors.

Again, I live in a Jewish home and the inter-faith family connections have continued to multiply. It’s a beautiful thing to be able to celebrate your own identity and share in the joys of others as well. A lot of it has to do with mutual respect, love of a Divine presence, and sharing our cultural traditions. We had family and friends of various faiths attend our children’s Bris, naming, and B’nai Mitzvahs just as we’ve attended Christenings, Communions and Hindu Namakaran ceremonies. It just seems as if the love is multiplied in so many different ways and sometimes also languages. There are so many similarities — for instance the winter season has celebrations such as Christmas, Hanukkah, Diwali and Kwanzaa, each one is a “Festival of Lights” in its own unique way.

Growing up I did know a few people who frowned upon the inter-faith exposure, but it never hurt me. I never strayed from the religious beliefs my parents raised me with, but I did grow to respect, accept, and enjoy all my loved ones’ customs. And despite the fear some folks may have about losing their young to other cultures, it actually became a stronger tie to my own beginnings. I love who I am and I identify with my roots and I encourage others to hold on to their beliefs as well. There are those, in today’s world, who feel that religion causes wars and hate, but it shouldn’t. Parents should raise their children to recognize that every HUMAN BEING has a right to their own way of worship and to enjoy their religious festivities.  

During Hanukkah we celebrate the story of the Maccabees and how they led the fight for religious freedoms. We should all feel free to observe and celebrate our faith, to worship (or not) the way we want to. Every person has the right to find comfort and peace in their beliefs. I am aware there are fanatics in every faith but too many of them are using and perverting the concepts of their religions for their own gains, and that is not love of their fellow human beings. We have to learn tolerance and acceptance and reject the tirades of the prejudiced and close-minded. We have to teach our children that every human being deserves acceptance and deserves to be loved.

I wish you all the joys of the season. 

May you all know happiness, peace and family love.

Merry Christmas Happy Hanukkah Joyous Kwanzaa

Christmas Eve - Courage of the Heart style

Since the Holiday season is literally just around the corner - here's a Christmas Eve scene from Courage of the Heart:

Back at the house, Liz got the boys off to bed early before they put presents under the tree. Davie explained to Adam that no one under the age of eighteen was allowed to see the pile of presents until Christmas morning.

The immediate household would have some time together to rip into their packages and enjoy muffins and cider for breakfast before the onslaught of relatives descended. She forewarned Adam that her father still took his costumed-Santa role very seriously for the little ones.

Adam had brought a few presents along to hand out as well and he took his turn placing them under the tree. He had asked Davie several questions about the household decorating scheme and colors before their visit so he could choose something appropriate for her father and Liz. When he turned to drop a small package for Davie into her Christmas stocking, he saw that she had hung a stocking with his name alongside hers. Piles of gaily-wrapped gifts were placed under the tree; Davie brought the two shopping bags of presents downstairs and added her packages to the pile.

Liz brought in a tray of hot-mulled-cider and warned them that she had spiked it liberally. The two couples sat in the den and enjoyed the crackling fire that Albert had started in the fireplace.

"So Adam, I imagine this was even crazier than Davie had described." Liz spoke good-naturedly.

"Actually, she was pretty accurate."

"You didn't have any family back in Pennsylvania?" Albert couldn't picture anything but crowds for the holidays.

"No sir, it was just my father and me. And he really wasn't around often."
Albert sat forward on the couch.

"Listen Adam, the name is Al. I really can't get friendly with someone who keeps calling me sir."

Adam nodded

Liz and Albert explained that the boys were off from school for a few weeks; they would be staying at the house with them. In January, the four of them would be going back to Maryland to close out the condo and put it up for sale.

Al asked Adam if he would be coming back down for the wedding. Adam looked at Davie and said he'd love to.

Liz asked Davie to help her clean up from the refreshments. While the two women were alone, Liz turned to Davie with some encouragement. "I think your father likes Adam. He is a very nice young man." She stopped and smiled. "I think we just have to understand Al is going to occasionally have bouts of jealously about the young man who has obviously stolen his daughter's heart."

"Thanks Liz." Davie put the tray down in the kitchen and turned to Elizabeth. "You are a very good influence on Dad. Me too."

"Merry Christmas, Davie." Liz hugged her. She didn't let Davie see the happy tears welling up in her eyes.

Courage of the Heart
(coming February 2009)