The Year of Firsts

I posted back in June, my only sister passed away fairly unexpectantly. She was five years older than me and in her early 70s, we had A LOT of time together, I am very blessed for that. It's still a huge change in my life though…

 

As we are nearing the end of 2021, and with all of the holidays surrounding us, her absence from my life is weighing heavily on my mind. This is what I call the "Year of Firsts" — it's the FIRST time that I am doing things differently, doing things without her presence. Although I will always be sad that she isn't here, the "next time" becomes a little bit more normal.

 

We lost our parents in 1977 and 1979 and we had each other for support during the years of firsts (and yes, Thank G-d, we also had our husbands who were total rocks for us). As our own young families grew, we spent many, many Thanksgivings together taking family pictures and torturing our kids along the way, lol. As our own children got older and had their own homes, we didn't have the dinners together, but my sis and I often spent A LOT of time on the phone "cooking together"… this year I didn't have that.

 

I began to think about the upcoming New Year's Eve and how every year we would be on the phone together within minutes of the ball drop in Times Square. That phone call will be missed this year. Her first birthday since she is gone and all the holidays since have been painful reminders that she isn't here, everything was a first. I know that even after the first anniversary of her passing there will still be so many poignant moments, but I will have gotten through it once already.

 

It's not that I am strong, but I do remember all the wonderful years I had with her and all of our memories. I am in the process of writing MY memories down because with my parents and now my sister gone, I'm the only one with ALL of those memories. (And as my daughter said to me, it's a GREAT opportunity for me to put MY spin on everything!) My memories and my blessings are what will get me through.

 

I had my sister in my life for 67 years, a lifetime of secrets, laughter, compassion, sharing, joys and just simple talks. I have my brother (in-law), her husband, who has known me since my teen years and has become more of a brother than an in-law. I have my sister's sons and their families in my life. My husband and our children and their mates got to know her. And I have many little tidbits of advice she gave me (she not only loved to tell me what to do, but she was also a psychologist) that will remain with me forever.

 

While I still shed tears, sometimes more often than I want to admit, I also realize how fortunate I've been to have had ALL the people in my life that have been here — and I am truly so fortunate to have had such a wonderful friendship with my sister.

 

I am halfway through the "Year of Firsts", I'm going to make it.

 

Bobi, I will always love you.

#TBT Seven Years Ago... then came Bartlett's Rule

My first book with Vanilla Heart Publishing was published in 

April 2008. I was so excited!

Author Lauren Shiro had made a connection with VHP's Managing Editor and she told me how impressed she was with Ms. Williams. I asked if she would mind if I contacted her, she wished me luck... It wasn't long before I received a response - Send The Manuscript!

Suddenly I was signing a book contract and waiting to see my name on the spine of a book. Kimberlee Williams walked me through promotion techniques, she designed a terrific book trailer and posted it on YouTube, and she arranged an on-air "Meet & Greet"

Soon after I had a book discussion and signing at a Nanuet bookstore and the very first time that I was asked to autograph a book was a feeling I will never, ever forget — Readers wanted MY autograph!!!

I wrote my first newspaper article when I was in college. In 1981 I began freelancing from home while our children were young, but I always said that I wanted to "grow up and become an author" and I did, I did!

I've published a few books with Vanilla Heart Publishing since then, I've had short stories and articles in other books with other publishers, and I am still writing articles for newspapers and magazines all over North America. It's been a thrilling and wondrous ride. Kimberlee has taught me so much about the publishing world and has been a terrific friend as well as publisher. I've also met some terrific people, other authors with Vanilla Heart Publishing. It's been a terrific seven years and I hope to look forward to many more. If you want to learn more about all of my VHP books, visit my website page.

About Bartlett's Rule
Bartlett's Rule shares the story of Lon and Paige's love affair; a romance filled with hardship, emotion, danger and triumph. Falling in love was never the challenge; being there for each other, knowing just what to say and making it work is the real test. Paige and Lon are real; they are human, they cry and they laugh. Paige has to learn to trust. Lon has to learn to be patient.

Bartlett’s Rule was named one of
Carolyn Howard-Johnson’s Top Ten Reads for 2009
on MyShelf.com

Reviews:

Malcolm Campbell ~Barbara Moroch~Bobi / Amazon

Buy Links

AUDIO –   http://www.amazon.com/Bartletts-Rule/dp/B00F4AUKZQ

PRINT – http://www.amazon.com/Bartletts-Rule-Chelle-Cordero/dp/097965453X

Kindle – http://www.amazon.com/Bartletts-Rule-ebook/dp/B001H0G6KU

AllRomance Ebooks – https://www.allromanceebooks.com/product-bartlett039srule-17739-149.html

Smashwords for All Ereaders – https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/1549

Payloadz Instant Download – http://store.payloadz.com/go?id=853574

and the FREE Book Club Discussion Packet with full color printable bookmarks, author bio and photo, discussion starters, and synopsis –  http://books.noisetrade.com/chellecordero/bartletts-rule-by-chelle-cordero

Can we talk?

Oh come now, you know that everyone is going to make use of that iconic line – and that is just the way the late Joan Rivers would want it.

The world lost another comedic great this week so shortly after the loss of Robin Williams, but honoring these two who brought so much laughter into our world means we must keep laughing. Joan Rivers left her wishes for all to know and see in her book, I Hate Everyone...Starting with Me; her wish list is making the rounds and already bringing chuckles and laughter Joan Rivers’ Funeral Wish List: Beyonce Hair, A Valentino Gown And Sobbing Meryl Streep (from MTV News).

Funerals should be a celebration of the person’s life and all that they gave us. While we all “hope” we will be missed, we don’t want our loved ones to be left bereft and inconsolable, I sure as heck don’t want to be the reason my family and friends are miserable. I think everyone should leave a wish list for their funerals and the top of that list should include some way to make their families smile and return to their lives… and some laughter wouldn’t be so terrible either.

My husband and I lost our parents (all 4) within a relatively short period of time. My dad was first, my father-in-law just a mere 18 days later. In planning my father’s funeral service we hired a “Rent-a-Rabbi”. The man was eloquent and showed the grieving family the best of compassion and kindness - we were very happy with the selection. My dad was involved in the community and my parents had a lot of friends so the room was overflowing. The rabbi began his sermon with the words “And when I die…” and went on to talk about how the large throng of mourners was a tribute to the life my dad lived. It was a beautiful sermon with a moving eulogy and our family felt that the rabbi did my father a great honor.

Less than three weeks later after my father-in-law passed away, my mother-in-law liked what she had seen and hired the same rabbi to perform the service; living in the same community as my parents, the funeral home was the same as well. Again, there was a very impressive turnout of folks. The rabbi stood in front of the crowd and began his sermon “And when I die…” and until the personalized eulogy, it was the same speech. All of the relatives looked at one another in surprise which we did manage to hide from most of the crowd. Afterwards we rationalized that the rabbi probably had a pre-set group of sermons to deliver, after all he did  a lot of funerals, and just didn’t think twice about using the same speech in such a short time period – it isn’t often, I believe, that the same exact family had use of his services so soon after the first.

A year and a half later, my mom passed away. This time the funeral location was more than 40 miles away and yet the same rabbi’s name appeared on the preferred officiate list – well despite the repeated speech, we were very happy with his eloquence and services at least twice before, my mom had really liked his gentleness, so we hired him again. Well do I need to tell you? He looked out over the crowd of mourners and began his speech “And when I die…” – my sister and I were seated on either side of my grandmother, my mother’s mom, and our husbands sat beside each of us. Bobi, my sister, and I looked at each other over Grandma’s head and began laughing, uncontrollably. Terribly embarrassed about laughing at a funeral and not wanting to upset our grandmother any more we hid our faces in our husbands’ shoulders. Well everyone thought we were crying hysterically – “those poor Cordero girls, this is just too much for them…”; we laughed harder. Somehow Mark (my husband) and Del (Bobi’s husband) managed to hold it together although they both fought the smirks. (Later they told us how contagious our laughter was)

It was then that I decided that at my funeral SOMEONE, ANYONE, needs to announce loudly and clearly “And when I die…” and I hope that it will bring as much laughter to the room and my loved ones and that it will NOT be hidden. I’ve told my family members and close friends of this wish and I hope they remember, but if you are in attendance and it isn’t said, please do it yourself – thanks.

By the way, when my mother-in-law passed away a few years later, we used a different rabbi.

More reviews on Amazon

Bartlett's Rule, review by Bobi
http://tr.im/ds81

Within the Law, review by D. Harvey
http://tr.im/e0mj

Within the Law, review by Todd A Fonseca
http://tr.im/e0mk

Forgotten, review by D. Harvey
http://tr.im/e0ml

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Happy Birthday to My Sister!

I wanted to take the opportunity to wish someone very special in my life a very Happy Birthday today, Sept. 5 -

Happy Birthday Bobi.

Writers are generally a vulnerable breed with loads of insecurities. When you have someone in your life who is 100% supportive of you, encourages you and finds every way possible to praise you, it makes a really big difference.

I have my sister Bobi to help do that for me and I wanted to take the opportunity to publicly let everyone know how I feel about her - she is the best. Love ya!