Bloodthirsty Revenge ~ #MondayBlogs

You’ve been wronged, lied about, betrayed, ignored… how bloodthirsty are you? At what point will revenge taken ever be enough?

When we are hurt by the actions of another, angered by the pain that was inflicted, and frustrated because we NEED vindication, our imaginations soar with a need to Get Even.

Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves.
~ Confucius

Will revenge really ever even things out? We can certainly ensure that someone else feels the pain we felt, but will that ever erase our pain? More importantly what ELSE could we have done with our lives in the time it took to plan and successfully execute our horrible revenge?

When you are totally absorbed in what you THINK will make you feel better and devising ways to make someone suffer as much as you did, you are wasting your own precious life — and you only have one life. What joys did you miss out on, what beauty did you fail to see, and who else (quite possibly innocent) will suffer because of your obsession?

Turn the other cheek you say?! How many times can we do that and still feel worthy of happiness? There are times we just want others to pay for the callousness, the crime, the wrongs inflicted. Sometimes we just want things to be righted. We want justice… or is it merely revenge? Will we get “pleasure” from taking revenge? And if so, what does that say about us? Maybe we are due some JUSTICE, is that the same as revenge? No.

It is essential that justice be done; it is equally vital that justice not be confused with revenge, for the two are wholly different.
~ Oscar Arias

Justice should be logical, thought out, and fair. Revenge is a gut reaction, it’s emotional and most often can be an overreaction. Justice should have a positive effect, perhaps a rehabilitation, a wrong corrected to some extent, removing a danger from hurting others. Revenge is negativity, it can become a blind hatred that goes overboard hurting anyone who comes in contact, revenge only leaves more scars. Any satisfaction felt from meting out revenge is usually short lived and often replaced with guilt.

A man that studieth revenge keeps his own wounds green.

~ Francis Bacon

Revenge can steal your life if you allow it. It’s been said that the best revenge is a life well lived and it is true, enjoy success, beauty, love, and friends. Don’t let all these good things pass you by because you can only focus on revenge.

When you feel as if you’ve been stabbed a hundred-million times in the heart and the pain seems more than you can bear, just saying “get over it” sounds so much easier than doing it. When the need for revenge consumes you, when it is always in your mind and heart, you can’t just wave some magic wand and cast it out. Replace it.

Get involved in a positive activity, a project, a cause – find something GOOD to throw all of your passion, your angst and that driving need to make things right. The need for revenge is not healthy; it can grow like a tumor until it strangles you. Replace the UNhealthy obsession with positive drives and action that will benefit others. You will feel better about yourself.

And that is a WIN.

Reputation - #MondayBlogs

The Yiddish term for a person who enjoys gossiping about others is Lashon Hora – it doesn’t matter if the gossip is true or false, if it will do harm to the person (humiliation, career, physical, etc.) then it is considered morally wrong. Legal terminology for false defamation of character is slander (spoken) or libel (written).

In our secular world you can get away with talking “trash” so long as you have the facts to back it up, but why would you? Why would a person go out of their way to cause emotional harm, or worse, to another? Perhaps it was anger that made someone expose “secrets” either true or false; what else would they do out of anger? Gossip, trash talk, lashon hora hurts the target just as a fist would, so how can we excuse that behavior when we know how wrong it is?

Perhaps I am being too lenient when I say there MAY be legitimate reasons why a person would utter harmful words just as we can sometimes excuse the person who strikes another in genuine self-defense. Remember though that the legal definition of self-defense includes the key words “the use of reasonable force to protect”. Defending yourself from a vicious verbal assault or an untrue accusation may mean sharing information about someone else even though that might harm their reputation. Again it is the use of a REASONABLE counter attack that might be justified (in my opinion).

We all gossip, even those who are staunchly against all forms of lashon hora, it’s human to say once in a while, “hey did you hear about…”; the difference is the motivation, the intensity and the veracity. There is no excuse for telling falsehoods about innocents. Most of us talk about the people we know and the things we hear as normal chit-chat among friends. Unfortunately too many people are not aware of overheard conversations in public areas and the unintentional damage that can cause. It’s also too easy, like the game of telephone, when that news we share gets translated and twisted, even if accidentally, until it becomes an untruth.

The next time you talk about someone else think of your motivations, the “ears” around you, and certainly think about any potential harm your words may cause – and then think about keeping those words to yourself.

"Sticks and stones may break my bones,
but names will never hurt me"

It just ain’t so!