Negative people can really wreak havoc with your day.
Listening to chronic (usually unfounded) complaints, hearing repeated forecasts
of doom, and seeing nothing more than constant scowling and growling can take
its toll on the people around. I truly believe that the atmosphere is fed by the energy around, and when that energy is
negativity and gloom, the temperature
is not very comfortable.
Negativity can drain you. A constant barrage of criticism can
make you doubt yourself. Why bother to smile when it’s met with derision?
Don’t let someone else’s Bad
Day(s) ruin your day. You do have a choice. Depending on the situation it
may be easiest to simply walk away and avoid the bad vibes. Join another gym,
find another critique group, sit at a different lunchroom table… Sometimes you
can’t extricate yourself that easily and you have to find a way to deal with
it.
Open your mind to understanding what has caused the other
person’s gloom — they may lack confidence, they may have difficulty seeing
beyond something truly unfortunate that has happened to them, they may be
surrounded by negative people, or they may feel powerless in other areas of
their lives and feel the need to exert harsh control. Whatever the reason, it
is often a cry for help, or understanding, a need to feel hugged, or even a
need to just be left alone.
Your own attitude doesn’t need to be a part of someone else’s
schemes. If the negative person around you needs compassion, you can empathize but
still realize whatever bad thing happened did NOT happen to you. You can reach
out a hand without giving up you own safe perch. You can offer encouragement
without demeaning your own abilities. Feeding positive energy into the
environment doesn’t mean remaining oblivious to others and their needs; it
means finding ways to accept and build on the strengths and needs of all
including yourself.
Self-preservation is not just a skill, it is a necessity.
Self-preservation does not mean building a figurative wall around yourself. By
all means interact with those people,
but if you can, avoid topics that you know will set them off (if they are upset about being passed over
for a promotion, you don’t need to constantly remind them of the promoted
person’s success!); if you can’t avoid the hot topics don’t gloat, keep repeating yourself, or lie. Try to change the
environment by including others so
that the focus is not just on the two of you. Find ways to give genuine praise. Never tell someone to just get over it.
Sometimes it will take reminders like the morning affirmation
in your mirror, but train yourself to be more positive. Learn to look for the
good in situations and people. Learn your own can do attitude. Believe in
yourself. Learn how to smile. Practice positive responses and ways to offer
your ideas. Avoid making insults and accusations. Don’t dwell on the negativity
around you.
Feed your own positive energy into the room and it just might be
infectious.
