CONNECTIONS

Our always-on-social-media, while there are downsides, has the ability to reach out and communicate at a needed time. Sometimes it may not mean much for someone to have a virtual stranger wish her a Happy Birthday, but then maybe it just might be the lift she needs to get through today.

Scroll through platforms like Facebook and people share heartaches and disappointments, brag about accomplishments, offer condolences, share jokes and any myriad of emotions. Users announce the loss of loved ones, and ask for prayers, or say thanks for being there when you were really needed.

PEOPLE NEED PEOPLE. We all need interaction with others. We need to vent, to ask for advice, to offer and accept virtual hugs, to complain about the weather, and so much more. Especially after this past year when so many were in near complete isolation, social media and visual apps were the things that helped to keep folks in touch with others.

It may not seem like much when social media acquaintances post a GIF or Meme to help cheer you up, but it does have the ability to make you feel as if someone cared. Many of those who post condolences, encouragement, congratulations or support may only be expending a few moments and a few keystrokes — but they are spending those few moments ON YOU. Someone took the time, their precious time, to let you know that someone is out there.

Next month is National Suicide Prevention Month. There are several reasons why some attempt, or unfortunately succeed, at committing suicide. Among the reasons for suicide, loneliness is one of the major factors. Whether you pay a visit, make a phone call, or simply make it a point to remember someone on social media, you could make a crucial difference in their feelings of loneliness and of being forgotten.

You may be that person’s reason for getting through today and hopefully tomorrow.

If you ever feel the need, or know someone else
who is contemplating suicide,

Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

1-800-273-8255

OR

Text GO to 741741 to reach a trained Crisis Counselor through Crisis Text Line, a global not-for-profit organization. Free, 24/7, confidential.

 

 

 

Family and the Pandemic

 

In the last eight months or so we’ve all had an extreme case of separation, separation from our extended families, our friends, our jobs, and a way of life where we felt (more) carefree. COVID-19 has disrupted our lives and it looks like, unfortunately, it’s going to continue interrupting life as we wish it would be for a while yet.

 For years I watched some of my extended family deal with their military children overseas and wondered how they could contend with that time and distance separating them. My children and their spouses live within a few hours from where we live, all four are in first-response and health/wellness, and I consider myself lucky having seen each of them (in person) two or three times each since February.

 So how have we coped? It really hasn’t been easy. Fortunately all of our immediate family and most of our extended family have gotten used to various visual and audio means of communication; of course there have been phone calls and emails as well. We watched, via the power of the internet, a niece get married, and a few months later a nephew tied the knot. We enjoyed a multi-household abbreviated Passover Seder together via ZOOM, and our daughter and son-in-law broke the Yom Kippur fast with us through the same online app.

 And we’ve had the opportunity to attend community board meetings and a few interesting seminars. I even got to attend my first ever Romance Writers’ Conference virtually! So we’ve had interaction beyond the occasional trips to the supermarket (where I feel like a bandit adorned with my mask!) and our routine doctor visits which have graduated from tele-visits to the office. With both of us retired, we haven’t had to deal with routine office work; except for the first-responders in our family, most of our working relatives have been working from home — we’re lucky in that several of our extended family have been able to maintain at least some of their employment.

 I can’t help but think back to my childhood and wonder how we would have survived without so many ways to virtually interact, or how my folks would have dealt with the concept of home-schooling my sister and me without online learning. How did folks and families survive the 1918 Spanish flu pandemic? Today in 2020 the separation stings… but the lack of communication venues more than 100-years before was so much less than today. I can’t even imagine. Right now I just want to hug my kids.

 And yet, even with all of our advances, so many of us are battling with depression and feelings of isolation. Even when we are outside, we can’t come near others, many grocery stores still have six-foot reminders on the floor. When we say hello to someone, we can’t even see their mouths because of our masks. I certainly am NOT advocating that we do not use masks or social distancing, more than 225-thousand deaths prove that we need to do whatever we can to protect ourselves and our loved ones. But even when we are near others, the feelings of loneliness are enforced. Many of the things we used to do for enjoyment and socializing are now taboo, or at least severely limited… no movie theatres, limited restaurants, or other leisure activities. Everyday we seem to hear of another business closing permanently because they couldn’t survive the necessary shutdowns. It’s just sad.

 As we are heading into the holiday season we’re once again trying to juggle. Big family dinners are probably not going to happen; even if we feel safe enough to have some family together, we need to be wary of including some who might be quite vulnerable. Maybe we’ll need to turn to ZOOM again in order to share? Those of us whose major concern might be choosing between ZOOM or Facebook Rooms to share this holiday season need to remember there are those who have lost loved ones, who are in danger of losing their homes, or might not be able to put a holiday meal on their table.

 If you or a loved one is suffering from “COVID depression/anxiety”, take care of yourself and those around you (easier said than done?). Be sure to reach out to your family and friends, especially those who might live alone or feel more isolated from their loved ones — pick up a phone, send an email or do a “drive-by” and wave through the window. If you are able, think of others, send a pizza to an on-duty ambulance crew, or a boxed dinner on the doorstep of a neighbor who needs help. Helping others can help you to feel better. Get involved with activities in your own home, play board games, watch a movie on TV together, and look for on-line seminars and video tours. And if seems really too much for you, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) for English, or 1-888-628-9454 for Spanish.

 

We will get through this.

 

 

 

Cracking the WIP

            All alone. Not me, the heroine of my current WIP (work-in-progress). She’s married, lives with her husband and his mother in a small town where everybody knows her name. But she is alone. She feels lonely and is looking for a way to escape. For now my working title is “Dreamwalker”, I have to wait and see what the final title will be.

            I've been blessed with my life since, even when I might have been at odds with a person or two around me, I've never experienced such total isolation, I have never felt the desolation that my heroine, Annie, feels. So I am trying to get into her head and understand the sadness and the frustration.

            The story is a Paranormal, a first for me, I've never written in this style before. I am not sure WHAT kind of paranormal will this be, will it be a Paranormal Romance, Paranormal Thriller or what. But I am starting to get into the heads of my characters little by little and I am finding they are writing their own story. And this is a good thing, it’s the way I write.

            Several times I've been surprised by some of the choices and actions my characters have made. In His Lucky Charm I never expected the heroine’s cousin to be such a “bad boy” who was still mourning the loss of his high school love. I definitely did not expect Paige to bolt in Bartlett’s Rule when Lon was just doing his best to protect her. And it really surprised the heck out of me when Sudah turned her back on Matt in Hyphema and blamed him for her cousin’s death.

            I allow my characters to come to life and that is what I am doing now with Annie, Dave, Scott and Dianne (be warned, the names may change before I finish if the characters decide they don’t like the names I chose for them). They tend to become real and yes, like many writers experience, they talk to me and tell me what makes them happy or sad, or why they want their life to be different. Sometimes I play the role of a stern, lecturing parent to try to get them back on the right track, or at least the concept I had of them. Sometimes I am forced to add a twist to my story simply because I didn’t want my characters angry at me.

            I once said I give birth to my characters and sometimes the labor is long and arduous, but it is always well worth it. As I put words to paper I grow more and more anxious to see the way this turns out. I think I am probably going to be a bit surprised.

for more of Chelle's books