Reading the Fine Print

 

Sometimes it seems that "everyone" is trying to coerce you into wrong decisions, scam you out of money, fool you into thinking you have no alternatives… It is TIRING!

 

Most of us really don't have any major problems with comprehension, and many of us are just looking to be treated fairly, the same way we prefer to treat those around us. (Okay, I admit, some do look to get away with whatever they can, but not most.)

 

I get calls daily, sometimes more than once a day, telling me that "your car warranty has expired…" Heck, I haven't owned a car in at least eight years! And oh my goodness, heaven help us if we dare to click on a Facebook ad, we'll get put on every possible email list and then some… and too often if you try to make a purchase you either never see the product or it winds up that your charge card is used multiple times WITHOUT your approval.

 

I realize that there have always been scammers and con artists, but lately it seems to be everywhere you turn. Even sitting at your own computers in your own home is risky — did you ever get one of those authentic looking popups saying your computer is infected and just click here to clean? DON'T! And I can pretty much guarantee that no one in Nigeria is going to offer you millions if you give them your bank account number.

 

There are so many DON'Ts these days. DON'T push any buttons to remove yourself from a call list! DON'T store your credit card numbers on your computer! DON'T correct the info someone allegedly has and has to verify before sending you that "surprise"! DON'T dial back that phone number from the most recent nuisance call – you'll either negate that Do Not Call rule or you won't even reach the scammer and find they have spoofed some innocent's phone number. And definitely DON'T run to buy that gift card to send so that your phone doesn't get shut off or some such nonsense.

 

Aren't times tough enough without having to dodge every scam thrown your way? Most people are just trying to survive, pay their bills, stay healthy, and spend time with family. It is downright annoying when you receive an onslaught of email messages from your "favorite" social media site saying that they received "your" request to change your password, and you click each email with "No that wasn't me", and yet they keep on coming. And it is highly unlikely that your local State Police Department is selling you raffle tickets over the phone.

 

One very, very cruel hoax that is commonly pulled on the elderly is a phone call about a "grandchild" in trouble… car accident, jail, stranded in a strange country. The caller will pull as much information together as possible to totally frighten the loving grandparent and manages to con them into giving financial info over the phone. Meanwhile the grandchild is safe and unaware that dear old Grannie is now shaken to the core and totally ripped off of her savings. How can people be so heartless?

 

Another popular scam is when you go to sell something online. The potential buyer, usually long distance (allegedly) offers to mail you a check, and they do, but somehow they have included extra so that you can afford the shipping and then you will reimburse the excess. So in good faith you deposit the check, give it a day or so to "clear" and then send the overpayment by Western Union while you wait for delivery instructions. But then, lo and behold, the original check is pulled out of your account! But you are still out of the money you "refunded". Note that your bank will hold a check for so many days before it is permanently deposited in your bank account, find out how long.

 

Do yourself a favor and learn about Common Scams and ways to protect yourself from sites such as https://www.usa.gov/common-scams-frauds and https://www.consumer.ftc.gov/articles/how-avoid-scam. It can be a cold cruel world out there, arm yourself with knowledge.

 

And by the way, the IRS is NOT going to call you on the phone about your overdue payment!

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Happy 2020!

So it’s a New Year (in the Gregorian calendar) and aside from all the jokes about having terrific vision this year (2020 eyesight and all that), it is, like all New Year celebrations, another NEW beginning; I wrote about new beginnings this past October.

So what makes THIS new beginning different from all other New Year events? Well for one this New Year is based on the Gregorian calendar and seems to be more universal, most times even people who observe religious and ethnic based festivities also celebrate the coming of January 1. The Gregorian calendar is accepted as the most widely used calendar as it most closely represents the Earth’s spin around the Sun.

Most of us will probably, as in many years past, need a while to get used to writing the “2020” in our checkbooks and other correspondence. Luckily for those of us who make use of EFT (electronic fund transfers) through our online banking apps will send our check payments out with the correct date thanks to the computerized systems. But snail-mailed greeting cards and letters, for those few still doing that, will provide enough challenge, lol.

Here’s some fun facts about the year 2020: It’s a leap year since it is divisible by four (4), which means that there are 366 days instead of the usual 365 — this allows for the approximately one-quarter extra day per year that the Earth moves around the Sun, or exactly 365 days 5 hours 48 minutes and 46 seconds. This year February 29 is a thing! By the way did you know that the turn-of-the-century years, even though still divisible by four, are NOT leap years? This is because years that are equally divisible by 100 are excluded… I have no idea why.

October 2020 will make the 438^th anniversary of the Gregorian calendar, its predecessor was the Julian calendar (named for Julius Caesar). The Gregorian calendar was named for its creator, Pope Gregory XIII (with the assistance of undisclosed and uncelebrated astronomers). It seems that the approximately 11 minutes per year that the Julian calendar did not take into account threw the observance dates of certain Christian holidays askew. The new Gregorian calendar specifically allows for 365-days per year with an extra day every year divisible by four (February 29), and centuries divisible by 400 (otherwise years divisible by 100 are excluded).

Whew, I am glad I didn’t have to do the math!

Most people still make resolutions, ideas of things to better themselves, every New Year. And then most people break those well-meaning resolutions after only a few weeks (if they are that lucky to last that long). The new concept recommended by therapists and life-guides is to set goals WITH plans of how to reach those goals so that we each have a “road-map” to guide us. Part of reaching January is to let go of the past year — that doesn’t mean forgetting! Build on what happened last year, it taught you lessons, maybe you met new people, maybe you lost someone dear, but it was a definite part of making YOU. Let go of the disappointments, know that you have a chance to re-do most of what you didn’t manage in the year before.

Perhaps that fact that this year is 2020 and allows for all the jokes about vision is a sign… It’s a new year, and a new time to evaluate ourselves and work towards doing better. It’s a time for us to treasure our friendships especially those that have traveled the many years with us. Be sure to celebrate the person you’ve become, you reached this day, this year and this new opportunity.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

You May Not Know… ~ #MondayBlogs

The summer that our daughter turned 17 she made plans to join a youth group trip to Poland and Israel. An acquaintance confronted me with genuine concern and asked “How can you let her travel to such a dangerous place?”

Although we definitely worried about our daughter’s trip it wasn’t because of the location, it was the idea that she would be so far away without us by her side to “protect” her. We knew how important this trip was to her and how much she wanted the experience. We also knew teens who had taken similar journeys in previous summers and even more parents who had let their children go, and we were filled with stories of wonder, happiness and thankfulness for the experience.

However I did repeat the concern to the trip organizers during a parent-prep meeting. The response certainly opened my eyes. The young man I spoke to visited Israel and other parts of Europe several times a year, sometimes as part of his job and other times simply to spend time with friends he made through the years.

“When I am overseas and strangers learn I am from the New York City area they always ask me what it is like to live in such a dangerous place. Because of the way the media presents things they believe we all carry guns, fight off attacks every day, step over bodies in the street regularly, and have to live in secure fortresses for any kind of safety.”

His response certainly made me pause. He then asked if I was in contact with people in Israel and suggested I ask them what they thought about a group of North American teens visiting Israel (and yes he offered me contact info for some of his friends. He thought if I needed reassurance I should speak to people who actually lived there instead of some media copy that only painted a picture that would sell.

Unfortunately the world we live in has far too many incidents of violence and tragedies, but most people, thank goodness, live and work in cities and towns all over. No one is immune to the POSSIBILITY of being in the wrong place at the wrong time (even at home), but does that mean we should freeze in our tracks afraid to experience life? Practicing caution and being vigilant is wise but closing ourselves off to new adventures and possibilities is, well, not living.

She went to Poland and Israel and there were a few incidents of “concern” (more for her nervous parents than her) but she came home thrilled for having gone and changed by the lessons she learned by seeing the different cultures. She’s been back to Israel since and loves to travel… wherever. Her latest goal is to visit every continent at least once. And even now years later, even when she is accompanied by people who love and care for her, I worry each time she takes flight.

Our son is another test of a parent’s nerves, his adventures involve some travel but are more geared to physical challenges (mountains, skydiving, oy vey!). It is so true that no matter how old our offspring are, they will always be our babies — we look at the very capable adult and still see the infant cradled in our arms.

Sometimes you have to just pray A LOT and hope for the best, but always let life happen.

People in our lives ~ #MondayBlogs

“No one can cross the path that is your life without 

leaving some footprints behind” ~ Chelle Cordero

It is my belief that every person we encounter in our life changes us, sometimes significantly and sometimes barely. We have conversations where we can learn, we bump shoulders and get attitudes, we share a special smile and their cologne lingers. Later we smell the cologne and automatically smile, we see someone frown and we think of our annoyance, or we suddenly have an answer to someone’s query and can’t remember where we learned it.

There are strange friendships formed with random people. We find ourselves enjoying discussions and look forward to our next chance meeting. What is the reason these people are placed in our paths? Is there a higher power controlling these encounters? Or is it just plain simple chance? Whatever the reason for these acquaintances it helps us to grow and learn, and we should be grateful for these experiences. When we listen as well as talk we open our minds, we learn, and we think. We engage in conversations that interest us and these are the opportunities where we can immerse ourselves in topics that might not normally be part of our everyday existence.

While I do not like the vitriol that often accompanies political arguments before elections, I do enjoy the well-informed sharing of ideas. For the most part I admit that there has been no FaceBook discussion that has changed my mind about who to vote for, but when these cyber friends are willing to share researched and verified facts I like to absorb the information, and it is especially welcomed when they are willing to listen to other verified facts, even those that present another view; for me I have more clarity and confidence in my perspective and decisions. 

And while you may ask how we both present true facts and yet still disagree on our chosen candidate, we each have priorities and what may be important to me is not necessarily the most important to someone else. In Junior High School I had a teacher who taught us how to debate by arguing the side we did not believe in; he said that it taught us how to see things from other viewpoints and it certainly did.

Of course the people I believe have had the most influence in my life are my immediate family members: my parents, my sister, my husband and my children. These are the people who have taught me how to love unconditionally and still feel entitled to my own opinions. My parents, now long gone, left me lessons that help me work out problems and challenges even now, many years later. My family has shown me that true love means seeing someone’s faults and Laurels and still knowing how deeply you need and love that person.

My daughter once countered me during a disagreement by saying that we had only ourselves to blame for raising our children to think “for themselves”, something which, to be perfectly honest, I greatly respect them for. I learn from each member by hearing and seeing things through their ears and eyes. So as they have thought for themselves and married people just as headstrong, they have easily shared their opinions and given us lots of “food for thought”.

Value every person that you cross paths with. Every person adds something to your life even if it was just a momentary contact. Treasure the good experiences and rely on those memories when you need encouragement — and, while I hope they are few and far between, use the negative moments to help you make decisions which will avoid the disappointments in the future. 

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#MondayBlogs ~ Man plans and God laughs

Throughout our lives the unexpected has a way of startling us, it's not always something bad or good... just something we didn't plan on.

Maybe it's the child who finds a box of crayons and a beautiful expanse of empty wall just before that company you so want to impress is due to show up.

Maybe it's the feline who's perturbed that you enjoyed a vacation away and left the poor kitty home alone with only the twice-daily visits from a caring neighbor to dole out food and now, well, kitties do have their unique way of making a statement... (sigh) right on your luggage.

Or maybe it's the car that wouldn't start causing you to miss that important business interview, you know, the one that held the promise of a promotion.

There are also plenty of great outcomes that were born from plans that went awry like the career choice that never came to fruition because of "budget cuts" and the alternate fall back that led to meeting that special person and a lifetime of joy.

I once listened to someone tell us of his five-year plan which he had scheduled down to the day and it just didn't work out that way. Despite the plan being trashed, today he's a happy family man with a house, loving wife, impressive offspring and a job he enjoys.

Life may not be the plans you thought you wanted, you may be dealt very different opportunities. Sometimes your perfect dinner plan now includes a mural by Crayola, sometimes the washer and dryer need to run all night so that you can be prepared for work the next day. And sometimes you feel like you've been blindsided and may never catch your breath again — but you do.

Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans.

~John Lennon

Have you ever heard of the Paperbag Players? These talented improvisation actors take a paperbag filled with random items and perform a skit based on the contents and nothing else. This is a good example of how we need to live our lives using the items at hand. 

Never throw your hands up in surrender because of all the things that "went wrong", instead just grab it all and make it work. Be flexible, be productive, and be happy.