Overwhelmed

Sometimes it just seems like there is never enough time to get everything done… actually that’s most days for me, LOL. I make my plans in the morning and, well, maybe I’ll get some of it done.

It’s rare for most of us to actually accomplish everything we tell ourselves to do. Too many of us actually, metaphorically, bite off much more than we can handle. Or maybe we don’t know how to organize as well as we should? Then again some of us just don’t know when to say “No”.

“If you want something done, ask a busy person.”
~ Benjamin Franklin… or was it Lucille Ball?

Part of the problem with not finishing all of your planned tasks during the day is the resulting frustration and sometimes the feeling of failure. It’s NOT failure if you did manage to accomplish THINGS and you merely optimistically AND unreasonably overscheduled yourself. But then again the next day the cycle repeats itself and the frustration grows. It doesn’t even pay to be a procrastinator, you never manage to get around to it.

And then there is such a thing as life — and somehow life doesn’t seem to stick to a schedule. Something always comes out of the blue to throw all of your carefully planned agenda totally off-track, I mean not even in the realm of completion. Parents may have their offspring’s school suddenly demand an audience. Commuters can’t magically control traffic jams and mass-transit schedules. Sudden family calamities pop up and your immediate response is highly recommended. Office employees may experience their boss’s sudden change of direction. Even home-based workers have to deal with power outages, annoying marketing calls (when you are busy and on the receiving end, it’s annoying!) And then there are always your own personal health issues.

Read up all you want on time-management skills, some of them certainly sound like they would, or should, work, but they are kind of generic.

•  Make a plan, a list of what needs to be done.
•   Be realistic as to how long each step should take
•   Be honest, what are YOUR biggest timewasters?
•   Allow for needed breaks
•   Assume a reasonable allotment of time to “work”– NOT all 24 hours.
•   Prioritize
•   Try to establish a routine
•   But if you get “blocked”, move on to the next task.
•   Organize what you need to work with.
•   Delegate tasks where you reasonably can.
•   And finally, prepare to SCRAP the whole plan and write a new one!

Actually that last step is very important. Once you are conscious of your work/responsibilities/want-to-dos and can assess how long something actually takes, re-work your schedule. You’ll probably have to re-work it every week for a few weeks before you even come close to something that works. And if LIFE (that can be one of those four-letter words) changes, be prepared to change with it. You’ve heard the phrase “Man makes plans and G-d laughs”, be prepared and versatile enough to adjust.

But don’t ever let yourself feel like a failure. 

If it was easy to get everything done for everyone,
there wouldn’t be so many time-management courses
or books being sold.

.

Year End Back-look ~ #MondayBlogs

One of my New Year’s resolutions will be to stop procrastinating and putting things off to the last minute — I guess that’s the reason I’m not waiting to the last week of the year to write this.

I look back and wonder what I’ve accomplished this year. I haven’t written nearly as much FICTION as I wanted to, but I have increased my NON-fiction business and, almost sadly, I make more money at that so… Since it’s fiction that I want to write, am I selling myself out? Or like many others who can’t survive on their books alone, am I just working towards paying bills and just lucky that my “daytime job” is also writing. It’s a hard decision to decide priorities when one is your dream and the other is your mortgage.

Hubby and I want to get our house in order as we are nearing retirement years and want the opportunity to actually consider the proverbial downsizing. Somehow my closets seem to have some kind of fertilizer though and every time I THINK I’ve pared one down, it just seems to still overflow! And after 35-years in this house and my impossible sentimentality, it is just plain hard to go through draws and files deciding what to actually keep and toss. Besides this is a house that raised a family so the memories have a way of grasping and nearly paralyzing my physical being, …so hard to get things done.

Time! Every day seems shorter and shorter, and I am not just talking about the approach (actually today) of the winter solstice. It’s so difficult to believe that each day has the same 24-hours it always has (give or take the actual few minutes). I remember a time when I actually had time to do things like my work, my dishes, and most importantly stay in touch with people I care about. I feel as if I’m busy, busy, busy and yet a look back and it doesn’t seem that I’ve gotten much accomplished at all. Sometimes I worry that life is rushing by and I am missing out.

A couple of years ago I began an exercise program, but thanks to real health issues (yes, yes, confirm it with my doctor!) I’ve slacked off somewhat and can’t seem to literally get back on track. Mentally I feel about half my age which was a time I had ENERGY, lol. Somehow the energy has retired before I’ve reached that age myself. Our bodies change as we get older, everyone tells me that, so shouldn’t it stand to reason that it feels fresh and renewed once in a while? Instead I wake up with the same, and a few more, problems I had when I went to sleep.

I do look back at the past year and I’ve had a lot of precious moments and I am busy trying to save mementoes in the most compact manner possible in keeping with the downsizing desire. I’ve spent time with family but it’s never as much time as I want. And I have made a habit of saying nightly prayers and most importantly being thankful for my many blessings; that’s something that does make me feel good.

I think after all the looking back I tend to do at this time of year I can make a one word resolution for 2016 —

TIME

·       2016 is the year I will work on time management

·       2016 is the year I will make time for family and friends

·       2016 is the year I will remember all of the good times

·       2016 will be the year I make time to think before speaking

·       2016 will be the year I make MORE time to write my fiction

·       2016 is the year I will look forward in time and not dwell on the past

·       2016 is the year I will make time to take care of myself so that I can be here to give time to my family

·       2016 will be the year that I won’t take anything for granted and I will take the time to say Thank You to everyone in my life

The Armchair Psychologist: Avoiding Success

            Writers like to people watch and we tend o read into someone’s actions and words just because that is the way our imagination works. While I did take a college level psych class for one term, I am not pretending to be a professional.

            Why is it human tendency to procrastinate? So often we put off the things we should be doing for tomorrow, or the next day. Hey, it took me at least three days between my getting an idea for this post and my actually putting it on paper. We allow ourselves to get distracted or busy with other things we think need to be done.

            Are we really being lazy or suffering from some level of A.D.D.? Or are we somehow afraid that if we try we won’t succeed – if we don’t try then our excuse is we just didn’t have the time. It’s a little like playing the lottery, “you have to be in it to win it”. Of course when we play and don’t win we grumble about wasting our money.

“He is able who thinks he is able.” ~Buddha

            We have to learn to focus on the positive even when the outcome is not what we were wishing for. What did we learn from what we did? Next time we try can we utilize those lessons and perhaps work towards getting closer to our goal? What was the real cost of trying? Maybe the cost wasn't nearly as much as the potential of success.

            Success is not a measure of wealth, fame, title or possessions. Success is the satisfaction and confidence we feel about ourselves, it is the respect we receive from the people who mean the most to us. Success comes from believing on ourselves. Many of the characters I write about in my books are “successful”.

            Even though he comes from money, that isn’t what makes Brandon Price (His lucky Charm) a success. It’s his determination to make it in spite of the lack of relationship he has with his father. Brandon built and runs his own business in computer design, programming and robotics. He has a skill and reputation for the work he does which makes him a hot commodity to the government. Brandon does make a nice amount of money, but he is still a down to earth kind of guy and looks forward to taking care of the woman he loves, Caitlyn Smythe.

            Not all of my characters have complete confidence. Ben Johnson (A Chaunce of Riches) is a capable private investigator, but he is intimidated by Samantha Chaunce’s wealth and worries that he doesn’t have anything to “give her” in their relationship. He almost gives up trying.

            Whether it’s past disappointments, lack of confidence in ourselves, or some limited measure of success, we tend to fear trying. We procrastinate, We make excuses. We let distractions help us avoid doing the things we need to do. Later instead of feeling content with our achievements, we live with regrets because just maybe we might have succeeded.

            What have you been putting off lately? What do you think you could do to help reach your goal? Let’s discuss it here.

A Chaunce of Riches 

Ben Johnson was hired as a bodyguard for a rich widow and her kid, but he never expected to be working for the woman who had abandoned him just when he had needed her the most. Damn it all, he still wanted her. Samantha Chaunce never thought she would have to explain why she married the rich man instead of Ben. Or that her husband had been murdered...and Ben was the prime suspect.

Living on the edge

Heroes and heroines in romantic suspense stories seem to always live on "the edge", flirting with danger and taking chances.

Sometimes the "chances" they take are putting off doing things they should be doing earlier, like sharing a truth, saying I'm sorry, or saying I love you.

In His Lucky Charm, Brandon nearly loses Caitlyn when he fails to tell her of the double life he leads... and then she finds out. In A Chaunce of Riches, Ben is too stubborn and hurt to tell Sam that he still loves her... and then it appears he may have lost her forever. And in Bartlett's Rule, Paige feels that she needs time to work things out by herself... and then worries that she has missed her chance for Lon to want to spend his life with her.

People procrastinate for a variety of reasons. Every year we hear of last minute gift shoppers hitting the stores the afternoon of Christmas Eve! And every year we hear hair-raising stories of folks sending out their tax returns in the "eleventh hour" and looking for those elusive post offices that are still open until midnight - Yikes! (btw, electronic submission is so very easy)

Here's a good article for last minute filers:

Tax Deadline 2012: What last-minute filers should know

So, have YOU filed yet or is this your way of living on the edge?

Tell me about it, leave your comments below.