THE DOCTOR IS IN

  

Few things scare us more than going to the doctor’s office. And yet, you can’t help but be paranoid about every little ache and bruise you have. Oh my Gawd… why isn’t that bruise gone already? Maybe that ache is more than just a muscle strain? I sneezed three times this morning… how sick am I?

It’s no wonder that some avoid seeing their doctors. We fill ourselves with angst every time we (women) go for breast exams and (men) go for prostrate exams! I’ve heard that SOME high blood pressure has been labeled “White Coat Fever”.

Generally, as we are younger, so many of us tend to erroneously label our friends who have constant doctor appointments as hypochondriacs. Even some folks who have confirmed “invisible diseases” like Epstein Barr, Rheumatoid Arthritis, Chron’s Disease, Ehlers Danlow Syndrome, and others are treated rather unfairly and hear comments such as “But you don’t look sick!” all the time.

However, there are so many of us, as we age, who begin to have our own complaints of aches and pains and we begin to demand answers. When you consider how many of us, even with our chronic complaints, are living into older “old age”, of course many other health problems start to haunt us. They say it is common for folks in their 60s and older to develop Atherosclerosis, after all, most of us have been eating the WRONG foods for a lot of years. And just like any FINE machinery, our parts do show their wear!

Sure, sure, we can blame it on the genes and that does affect SOME of it. Our lifestyles may also contribute to our current state of worn-down. And who can really blame us? After all, how many years did we hear that butter was too fatty and margarine was better, and then, then we were told that margarine was no good for our arteries and butter was healthier!!!!! We can’t reverse all of those years that we thought we were doing the right thing.

So instead of complaining and putting it off, make those doctor appointments and start to take care of yourself. If nothing else, think of how you will be able to brag about your “social life” with all those professionals in your old age!

 

The Ninth Day

It was approximately nine days ago when our county issued a “Declaration of Disaster” and issued a strong recommendation that we all STAY HOME; “We encourage --- residents to stay home except for essential needs, to get food, care for a relative or friend, get necessary healthcare or go to an essential job. It is okay to go outside for walks if you are not in a group. Stay at least six feet apart when leaving your home for essential activities.”

To be perfectly honest, my sweet husband is recuperating after surgery and it isn’t all that easy for him to get around right now anyway — all we did have planned (due to his surgery) was to only go out for doctor follow-up visits and to buy necessary perishable staples for the next few weeks. Our pantry and freezer are fairly well stocked, my hubs is a terrific shopper and always stocks up when he sees a good sale. The only grocery concern I really have is preparing for Passover and staying local which does not really give us much choice in the prescribed foods for our traditions.

Staying home these days didn’t really change much of what we had planned to do, but the concept that we SHOULD NOT be mingling with the outside world is a bit mind-boggling and restrictive. And the one big thing that is suffocating is not being able to have our family come visiting, especially our kids. Our daughter has helped to ease some of that particular loneliness with multiple videos she sends us and even a lengthy video chat while she walked our darling grand-pup (my cats don’t understand why we love the dog so much, lol). Our daughter-in-love calls by phone whenever she has a chance and sends texts often. Both our son and son-in-love tend to leave most of the communication to their gals, but we do receive messages from each time to time.

Basically if you have friends or family you miss seeing, think of how lucky we are with phones, emails, video chats, Facebook and so many other ways to connect remotely. Be sure to make use of them and share everyday things with those you care about. Don’t let anyone feel alone.

Being semi-forced to stay-at-home can actually be a blessing in disguise. We all lead such harried lives we never really have time to just sit back and relax. Play a board game with your family. Curl up for a Netflix movie with your spouse. Read a book and even if you don’t have one handy, order an e-book on your computer or smart phone, there’s even a whole bunch available for free. Organize all of your pictures and scan those important documents onto your computer for reference and record-keeping. If you have children at home, find some terrific YA books you can read together.

Talking of children, how many times have we joked about things we learned in school that we don’t think we have much use for these days? Well spend some of your at-home time teaching your children a few of those other skills like cooking, sewing, balancing checkbooks, gardening, working on the car, cleaning and (if you have younger children as well) childcare. Many teachers are helping by sending lesson plans via email or social media, but whether they do or not read some history books (or even watch the History channel on TV), play math games, host your own spelling bee. There are so many ways to make your “playing” very productive.

Maybe now is the time for YOU to pick up a few new skills, learn something that has always interested you, and simply bathe yourself in new knowledge. Many online workshops are being offered, find Writing workshops, Kabballah, foreign languages, Yoga, business practices, and even emergency preparation classes… and you can do it all from home at your own schedule and often for free or very little cost. If you’ve ever wanted to reinvent yourself this could very well be the time.

Maybe, just maybe, all of this forced free time could just be the thing we need to revitalize. Stay Heathy!

#DailyPrompt ~ RELIEVED ~ #MondayBlogs

I found a terrific writing site (thanks to my friend Sugana) — The Daily Post: Daily Prompts provides a NEW daily prompt every day to give every writer a way to put a spark in her/his creativity. I decided to join this group every so often...

Today's Prompt is RELIEVED

 The definition of RELIEVED: [adjective] no longer feeling distressed or anxious; reassured.

As we get to that “certain age” and the doctor writes out a bunch of scrips for scans, lab tests, diagnostics, and more, we just can’t seem to avoid a growing dread in the pit of our stomachs. Absolutely NOTHING was wrong before! Why am I being subjected to all of this poking and prodding? And what about my dignity when each part of my body is being examined by a different group of people… okay, okay, I know they are professionals, and my common sense does tell me that playing it safe is a heck of a lot better than dealing with some catastrophic illness. But still —

So we act rationally and make our appointments and scheduling isn’t always the easiest, after shifting schedules and arranging for someone to pick us up afterwards (when required) and throwing someone else’s day into disarray we bravely march right up to the reception desk and fill out a myriad of forms with the most minute details… details that would normally fall into the category of TMI. Then you are given a gown that is guaranteed to let in too much of a breeze “somewhere”.

Finally we are in the exam room, hooked up to all kinds of monitors and feeling a bit like a character in some futuristic sci-fi show. The doctor, technician or PA does what they have to do and you are done. Get dressed again and go wait in the next room for someone to come in and discuss preliminary findings, if you are lucky; with some test you’ll have to wait three, ten or fourteen days until you get a phone call from a nurse reading the results to you and telling you the doctor’s next recommendation.

Whew! You get a clean bill of health and this tremendous feeling of relief settles over you. You’re told what they’ll send you a reminder when you have to do it all over again. Until then though, you are celebrating. I’m fine, I’m alive, and things are good. As you wipe your brow feeling so relieved you know that this was the smart thing to do for YOU and for the folks who love and depend on you. And IF, G-d forbid, your results aren’t the most pristine, you’ve probably found out while there is still time to make adjustments. Yeah, definitely smart.

My wish for all of you is Always Great Results and lots of reasons to feel relieved.

When Life Throws You Curves ~ #MondayBlogs

One day I will write my autobiography and the title will be “I Made Plans, God Laughed”.

Everyone experiences unexpected events, some frightening and some surprising. In the past few weeks my family has been dealing with a frightening health emergency, we’ve pulled together in love and support. I find myself pleasantly surprised at the strength and resourcefulness of each member of the immediate family. Extended family and close friends have also surrounded us with positive energy which has encouraged and bolstered our hearts.

During the first nights we were enveloped in fear, the fear that comes from not knowing what comes next. As the days went on, with the help of prayer and the knowledge of medical professionals, we were able to regroup and make plans. We found a place for our loved one to recuperate, rehabilitate and, God willing, eventually return home.

It’s a wonderful thing to be surrounded by family and loving friends when your need is great and you feel lost. I truly believe in the power of positivity — positive thinking and positive actions lead to better outcomes. We truly appreciate all the good wishes, concern and prayers sent in our direction.

We know that there is a long road ahead and we are hoping for a full recovery. This unexpected emergency will forever change all of our lives making us more appreciative of loved ones and good friends, and of course more aware of the need to take better care of ourselves.

Never miss a moment to tell your loved ones how much they mean to you, life changes quickly. I consider myself very lucky to still be able to say how much I care. I will be selfish enough to ask for the comfort of your continued prayers and good wishes.

May the rest of 2017 find you all, and your loved ones, in good health, surrounded by the warmth of love and friendship.

A Matter of Privacy ~ #MondayBlogs

On one side of my family all of the older female relatives literally celebrated, via phone calls, every related teen-girl’s first menses (kind of ala The Red Tent). The other side of my family keeps things so private that even emergency hospitalizations aren’t shared outside of the immediate household until there’s a casual conversation after the release of the patient.

There has GOT to be some middle ground.

I truly believe that families have the right to know about serious health issues and semi-major family crises. You certainly don’t need to share bedroom “stuff”, salaries, spats between household members or things that are told to you in confidence by another family member (unless of course someone’s safety is involved). And when things go awry in life it definitely helps to talk out your angst with someone you can trust.

It was even suggested that if you really need to talk about something that is making you lose sleep, pay a therapist to listen instead of calling your sibling or a close cousin! While there is a time and place for therapy, most worries just need to be aired, a chance to vent, a chance to be coddled for a few minutes. I am not talking about calling a relative to overrule something the spouse wants to do, getting permission or plotting — I’m talking about keeping yourself from being tied up in knots with worry and upset.

I know of couples who won’t allow their spouse to even go to the doctor’s waiting room with them for an appointment, and I also know of couples who will only make appointments when their spouse is available to go with them to talk to the doctor together. Sadly I also know couples who won’ even share the results of crucial medical tests with each other. I used to ride an ambulance as an EMT and a few times I responded to a call where the other household members had no idea what medical conditions the patient had or why they were taking medications… undeniably sad and even a bit scary.

How much sharing is comfortable for you? How much privacy do you need?

I’ve often wondered how many of the “emergency contacts” on forms and in our phones actually have information about the person they are supposedly able to answer for. And why for gosh sakes would someone’s offspring think that mom and dad no longer worry about them even when they live out of the house?

Yes, I do agree that there are things that needn’t be discussed, but there is so much more that should be. Families especially need to be able to rely on one another even if they are under separate roofs. Even unrelated roommates need to know somethings about each other such as where they work and if (and where) they are headed off for a weekend of fun so that is SOMETHING, ANYTHNG unexpected happens, at least the police can get in touch when they need to!

To quote John Donne, “No Man Is an Island” and we cannot create walls as complete insulation between us. We each live, work and play with other human beings and there needs to be just a bit where the lines we draw around ourselves actually overlap and mingle. Honestly you shouldn’t surround yourself with folks that you can’t even trust enough to share who you are with.

I’d love to hear your opinions about privacy…

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Being Invisible ~ #MondayBlogs

There are those of us who hide invisible illness, chronic conditions, pain and fatigue as much as we can. No matter how we hide sometimes it is unavoidable and it’s frustrating when the invisibility turns you into what others may assume is a hypochondriac or just lazy. We function at home, in jobs, with our families or running errands around town, and we don’t look for excuses…

But sometimes the pain or fatigue gets to us and we need a little time to recoup, to rest, to let an analgesic help a bit, or to simply catch our breath and those are the times when someone, usually well meaning, comes along and suggests that perhaps we should get to bed earlier, or keep moving to stretch the muscles, or not need so many bathroom breaks, and many more bits of advice. The truth is that no one else, unless they’ve been there, understands what we go through and sometimes it actually hurts when they tease and call us lazy or slow. These same people do mean well but unless they see a cane, a wheelchair, a placard in our car window or other aids to help a person function, they just don’t understand.

None of us wants to wear a banner across our chests or announce to perfect strangers what our invisible condition may be. Our invisible conditions aren’t contagious (if they are we know how to protect the people around us), they don’t make us any less of a functioning and contributing adult; some children also suffer from invisible conditions. These syndromes can make us weak, cause pain, make us dizzy, short of breath, hungry, thirsty, and make us so tired we can’t keep our eyes open. Most times we manage our symptoms and if we are lucky some of us can even forget for a brief period that we have a “condition” — maybe that’s why it’s so easy for others not to realize that sometimes the symptoms do get the best of us.

The following is not a complete list but includes some of the types of conditions that are not obvious to others: depression, anxiety, Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, Epstein Barr, Chronic Fatigue, Fibromyalgia, Celiac Disease, diabetes, cardiac abnormalities, migraines, Crohn’s disease, narcolepsy, food allergies, arthritis, PKD, hypoglycemia, colitis, IBS, epilepsy, Lyme Disease, Lupus, asthma, Meniere's Disease, phobias, hyper/hypo-active thyroid, and many more. Most laypeople reading this partial list will not be familiar with most, if any, of these conditions. There are even several doctors who are unfamiliar with the presenting symptoms and there is often misdiagnosis. Sometimes the patient is even told that it is all in his/her mind.

While many with chronic conditions have developed coping skills and can manage work and other activities with little interruption, some people do need extra consideration, and some cannot manage to take care of their home without help or hold down jobs. According to the Americans with Disabilities Act of 1990 (ADA) “an individual with a disability is a person who: Has a physical or mental impairment that substantially limits one or more major life activities; has a record of such an impairment; or is regarded as having such an impairment.” There may be provisions to help an individual but many of us know that if we let a potential employer know that there may be days we won’t be up to doing our jobs the chances of being hired go down, so we don’t put our invisible condition on record. …when we call out sick too many days, well you have an idea of what happens.

The next time you see someone waiting for an elevator just to go one floor, or parking in a handicapped spot (WITH a proper placard) but doesn’t “appear” disabled, or someone asks for help to carry something (and you can help), or even just walks slowly, please don’t be so quick to criticize. Realize that maybe that person coming out of the handicapped stall in the bathroom needed the higher seat because of a back problem. And just because you saw your co-worker dancing at the holiday party it doesn’t mean that he/she can do the walking at the company golf-outing, it just may be an off day. While admittedly there will always be someone who cheats and takes advantage, most people do what they are capable of and know when they need a little help. While some people with an invisible illness may feel comfortable in letting you know about it, they are not obligated to prove anything to you.

To your health!

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Year End Back-look ~ #MondayBlogs

One of my New Year’s resolutions will be to stop procrastinating and putting things off to the last minute — I guess that’s the reason I’m not waiting to the last week of the year to write this.

I look back and wonder what I’ve accomplished this year. I haven’t written nearly as much FICTION as I wanted to, but I have increased my NON-fiction business and, almost sadly, I make more money at that so… Since it’s fiction that I want to write, am I selling myself out? Or like many others who can’t survive on their books alone, am I just working towards paying bills and just lucky that my “daytime job” is also writing. It’s a hard decision to decide priorities when one is your dream and the other is your mortgage.

Hubby and I want to get our house in order as we are nearing retirement years and want the opportunity to actually consider the proverbial downsizing. Somehow my closets seem to have some kind of fertilizer though and every time I THINK I’ve pared one down, it just seems to still overflow! And after 35-years in this house and my impossible sentimentality, it is just plain hard to go through draws and files deciding what to actually keep and toss. Besides this is a house that raised a family so the memories have a way of grasping and nearly paralyzing my physical being, …so hard to get things done.

Time! Every day seems shorter and shorter, and I am not just talking about the approach (actually today) of the winter solstice. It’s so difficult to believe that each day has the same 24-hours it always has (give or take the actual few minutes). I remember a time when I actually had time to do things like my work, my dishes, and most importantly stay in touch with people I care about. I feel as if I’m busy, busy, busy and yet a look back and it doesn’t seem that I’ve gotten much accomplished at all. Sometimes I worry that life is rushing by and I am missing out.

A couple of years ago I began an exercise program, but thanks to real health issues (yes, yes, confirm it with my doctor!) I’ve slacked off somewhat and can’t seem to literally get back on track. Mentally I feel about half my age which was a time I had ENERGY, lol. Somehow the energy has retired before I’ve reached that age myself. Our bodies change as we get older, everyone tells me that, so shouldn’t it stand to reason that it feels fresh and renewed once in a while? Instead I wake up with the same, and a few more, problems I had when I went to sleep.

I do look back at the past year and I’ve had a lot of precious moments and I am busy trying to save mementoes in the most compact manner possible in keeping with the downsizing desire. I’ve spent time with family but it’s never as much time as I want. And I have made a habit of saying nightly prayers and most importantly being thankful for my many blessings; that’s something that does make me feel good.

I think after all the looking back I tend to do at this time of year I can make a one word resolution for 2016 —

TIME

·       2016 is the year I will work on time management

·       2016 is the year I will make time for family and friends

·       2016 is the year I will remember all of the good times

·       2016 will be the year I make time to think before speaking

·       2016 will be the year I make MORE time to write my fiction

·       2016 is the year I will look forward in time and not dwell on the past

·       2016 is the year I will make time to take care of myself so that I can be here to give time to my family

·       2016 will be the year that I won’t take anything for granted and I will take the time to say Thank You to everyone in my life

Life Happens ~ #MondayBlogs

At some point in everyone’s life there is at least one something stressful… and if it is only one you are indeed the exception. Money, health, sex, news reports, children, family illness or worse death, incessant weather conditions, household maintenance, traffic accidents, career, and on-and-on. Stress producers seem to assail us at every opportunity which is ot to say that we have only negative things happening, there is also joy, satisfaction, feel good days, hugs and the feeling of accomplishment. It is a genuine crisis whenever something literally upsets the apple-cart, but it is how we cope and move on that makes us different.

Unhealthy coping mechanisms make some people turn food, alcohol, drugs or reckless behavior. The temporary fix we can achieve by getting high may be very effective in allowing us to take our minds off of what ails us and may even allow us the time to catch our breath and get a different perspective, one that is easier to live with — in the end though many of these unhealthy coping mechanisms leave us with added complications. The stress finds a way to repeat, even if slightly different and the more frayed our nerves are, the more we toss and turn rather than sleep, the more we eat until we feel bloated, the less we feel capable of dealing with the stress and the faster we succumb. Stress can cause body aches and illness, it can destroy relationships, it can distract us while driving, confuse us when we try to work and embarrass us when we can’t control our tears. Stress can raise our blood pressure making us more susceptible to heart attacks and strokes. Simply put, stress STINKS.

We can’t eliminate stress from our lives. How can we find ways to control the damage stress can cause? And how can we cope and move on relatively normally when it seems arrows are being shot at us from every angle?

Begin every day with a personal pep talk in the bathroom mirror telling yourself how capable you are, how good you look, how much you can accomplish and that you like yourself. If you find yourself getting angry or feeling like you want to cry, get in the habit of “stopping” by counting to ten or reciting a favorite jingle. Spend some “me-time” every day doing something that is pleasurable and healthy like taking a walk, putting music on and dancing in your living room, doing arts and crafts, singing in the shower, writing short stories, but do something for a few minutes every day that is just for you. Daily meditation will help calm your nerves, focus on important things and learn to ignore annoyances; sit in a quiet, comfortable corner and breathe slowly and deeply; close your eyes and imagine a peaceful setting (like water gently lapping at the sands of beach).

Focus on the positive things around you, think about the things you still have even after a loss, and try to see that even unexpected changes in your life (such as losing a job) can lead to better things. Eat healthy foods that your body can actually utilize, foods that are high in nutrients, proteins and have healthy levels of carbs and fats will help keep your body’s chemistry more even. Get enough rest, you will feel better able to face things when you feel refreshed. Pamper yourself a bit, even simple everyday grooming will help to lift your spirits. Daily exercise will activate healthy endomorphins in your body; endomorphins affect the central nervous system and help to ease the body’s perception of pain and fatigue. Don’t naturally assume that the worst will happen, while it may be a real possibility, there is always the chance that a medical test, for example, may uncover a condition that can be treated and cured — my mother used to say “Don’t borrow trouble.”

Remember, don’t take life too seriously…
no one ever gets out alive.

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Wish I had recorded that! ~ #MondayBlogs

Oh for those moments in our lives when we wish someone was filming us so we could submit the video to America's Funniest Home Videos and make some money! Alas most of these things happen too fast and we don't have the time to set up a camera ourselves...

Two of my three curious felines decided to investigate floor tile glue downstairs during a DIY remodeling. Needless to say after leaving a trail of paw prints through the tacky gunk they came back upstairs to the carpeted living room where walking on the carpet was getting frustrated as they STUCK to the fibers.

First chasing them down (both my husband and I) and then locking the two in the bathroom with me to start cleaning. So while I was in the little room with two frightened, angry and hissing cats using alcohol, soapy water and baby oil - and getting as drenched as their fur - hubby was still chasing the third cat to make sure he hadn't played follow the leader; thank goodness there was no evidence of dumbness with him.

I called out to my husband, through the closed door of course to prevent escape, to get the name and content label and call for veterinarian advice. Oh by the way, this was after 10:00 PM already. He called and got an answering service, was told the location of the nearest 24-hour emergency office and also was given the phone number to the ASPCA Poison Control Hotline.

While there is a fee for the hotline (which goes to the support of the ASPCA programs), it was invaluable for our nerves. We were told what had to be done and reassured that this case of curiosity would not kill the cats. Also the fee (per incident so covered the three cats, we still weren't sure about the third) was still less than a vet visit for just one stuck-up pussycat. If you have a furbaby, post this number by your phone:  (888) 426-4435.   Info can be found here   https://www.aspca.org/pet-care/animal-poison-control.

As I finally reached to open the bathroom door (singing Who Let The Dogs Out?) and stood aside for the great escape of two very bedraggled and upset felines, I started to laugh. Once I changed into my own dry clothing once again, I returned to the living room as hubby was coming back upstairs - he had finished doubling the height of the barricades around the tacky downstairs floor.

We both sat and laughed, yes cruelly, of the site of the two cats hopping across the living room carpet and then we sighed over the loss of ten-thousand dollars we could have made if only someone had been there to film the whole tacky event.

all 3 - safe, sound and unglued
Mario ~ Luigi ~ Tigger
Luigi & Tigger were the culprits!

The great Invention ~ #MondayBlogs

It doesn’t matter if you’re 23 or 65, there comes a time (usually multiple) that you need to re-invent yourself. Most people think re-invention is only about careers, but it could be about your health, your looks, your home life or relationships.

You’ve made it this far doing things the way you do so why change it now? Maybe you just work up realizing that you aren’t where you want to be, or maybe some drastic change around you has happened to throw your world into a tailspin. (If that’s happened my dear friend Author Charmaine Gordon says to “just put one foot in front of the other”, it’s good advice).

What do you want in life? What are your true passions, your dreams and your likes? Make a list of where and who you want to be. Even if you want something seemingly fanciful, aim for it. If it proves to be unrealistic at least you’ve tried and you’ve probably made significant moves in the right direction.

Work and careers: My mom always told me that if you enjoy your work, you’ll never (feel) work a day in your life. Wouldn’t it be wonderful to look forward to what you do all day long and still pay your bills? It isn’t uncommon to pursue a career based on favorite hobbies. Hone your skills, take night classes (often offered at a local high school for little or no cost) to learn new talents.

Health and body: Improve your diet by eating the right foods, losing/gaining weight (slowly and regularly), getting adequate sleep and taking time for yourself (personal grooming). If you are changing your diet make sure to see a dietician to make sure that your nutritional needs are being met. Add regular exercise into your daily schedule, it doesn’t have to be extensive calisthenics, even walking 15-to-30 minutes a day counts.

Home life/relationships: If the person or people you spend time with leave you feeling low, or you don’t look forward to your own four walls, maybe it’s time to move on. Surround yourself with folks who have similar interest and values, who intrigue you, and who make you feel important and special. Maybe it’s time for you to change location – look at your potential opportunities. You might feel comfortable staying in the community or you might want to move to an entirely different region. Consider your ties to an area (family and friends), your job opportunities  the weather and climate, safety and your budget.

It takes time so don’t get discouraged, but if you don’t see movement within a few years, re-evaluate the steps you’re taking to move towards your target. Re-invent yourself and be happy.