Legacy ~ #MondayBlogs

Whenever we have a spate of celebrity deaths or are personally touched by loss we frequently begin to think of our own mortality. Death is inevitable for everyone, it doesn’t matter if you are rich or poor, nice or mean, or man or woman… nobody gets out alive. What kind of legacy do you want to leave behind you when the time comes in the hopefully distant future? What do you want to be remembered for?

In Judaism it is believed that there are ways to avoid a “second death” by remembering someone, doing good deeds in that person’s name, and always being inspired by the deceased to make us want to live better and more thoughtful lives. How do we assure that we will be remembered? How can we be the kind of person who could inspire goodness in others?

Think of the things you would WANT to be remembered for; think of the things you believe you WOULD be remembered for. Compare those two lists — which do you want more? Do you think you would be remembered for the hours you spent away from your family making more money than you truly needed? Would you be remembered for the fancy car you drove? Or would you be remembered for your generosity and compassion for those around you?

When I am no longer physically on this earth I hope that people would remember that they felt comfortable talking to me because they could trust me; I would want to be remembered for the time I gave to family and friends; I want folks to remember that I was passionate about living beings and their welfare; and I would want to be remembered for my laughter and my tears when others needed it most. I want my friends and family to know that I accepted that I was a mere human trying my best to be decent and thoughtful. When I die I would hope that people would celebrate the life I lived and would remember at least some happiness they had for knowing me.

Live your life well, make the “dash” between the dates on your headstone mean something. Enjoy the hugs you share with loved ones, the laughter you hear from children playing, the sounds and smells of nature all around you, and the joy you feel when you’ve made someone smile. Be the kind of person you would admire and know the difference between false vanity and the true “success” of respect. Do your job well, not just for the reward of money, but because the way you do your job makes this a better world for someone. Hold your lover’s hand, not because you expect something in return, but because you just want to be there with him/her.

Live a wonderful life full of joy and happiness.

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What will they remember? - #MondayBlogs

So, when your eulogy is being read,
with your life’s actions to rehash…
would you be proud of the things they say
about how you spent YOUR dash?

(poem by Linda Ellis)

When my time comes to move on from this world I often wonder if my absence will be felt. Oh I know my immediate family will miss me – it’s fairly obvious that when you are a part of someone’s daily life your absence will be noticed and quite possibly mourned. But how will I be remembered by my neighbors, the community, people that I have had contact with for work through the years… will I be remembered for the times I volunteered in different organizations, or for the works I’ve written as a writer?

Will I be remembered at all? After I’ve been lowered into the ground will anyone even think of me; will anyone feel grateful that they ever knew me; will I have made a difference in anyone’s life? A personal fear that I have always had (sssh, I’m telling you this in confidence…) is that after I am gone, I will have just taken up space on this planet and that this world will be no better or worse for my having been here.

Like most of us I dabble now and then on social media sites and I’ve enjoyed indulging my need for nostalgia by being a part of groups like school alumni or neighborhood crowds from my childhood. I am always amazed and pleasantly surprised when I’m remembered by someone from my past that I lost touch with long ago. Somehow I must have been more than just body taking up space and I am encouraged.

Some people are encouraging the idea of “Living Eulogies”, speeches others would say about a life while the person is still around (on this earth) to hear. Sometimes referred to as “The Dash” these speeches talk about the things that dash represents, everything that went on between the birth date and the date of death. What contributions did the subject make to the world around him? How did she impact the lives of the people she knew. A Living Eulogy can be a tribute for an elderly family member, a way of showing appreciation at a milestone event, or even for some who wants a preview of what will be said eventually.

Would I want to hear my eulogy while I could sit there and critique it? Would the eulogy be truly something that would be said at my funeral with just the good stuff — or would it be honest and spoken by folks who truly know me and would I really want to hear the truth? My mother always said not to speak ill of the dead; I can’t help but think of the joke where a Rabbi was delivering a eulogy for a man and his widow turned to her son and asked him to check to make sure it really was his father in the casket.

Hopefully when my time comes there will be good things to be said by people who will even remember my name.

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