Showing posts with label opinion. Show all posts
Showing posts with label opinion. Show all posts

Wednesday, May 12, 2021

Tearing Others Down

Remember all those movies where the “popular girls” ostracized the one they considered to be an “oddball” — maybe the ostracized girl had the audacity to show up in hand-me down clothes or spoke out in defense of another cast-out student. Sometimes these weren’t just movie themes, sometimes they were painful realities that we may have had happen to ourselves, or sadly, maybe we were the ones who feared being ostracized and went along with the crowd even though we knew it hurt.

 

In many ways this is how today’s “Cancel Culture” works. People, ideologies, books, movies and companies are cast out based on an OPINION and often not actually tried and convicted. In a July 2020 article in Psychology Today, Cancel Culture is explained, “Canceling begins with a real or perceived transgression by the canceled entity that the canceler observes or is made aware of and deems to be serious. The transgression can be about anything such as the violation of a strongly held political value or a social justice value that the canceler deems to be significant... Social canceling is not based on a balanced assessment of the transgression or any absolute criterion of wrongdoing. Because it's a visceral response and relies on one particular shared understanding of the transgression, one side of the story so to speak, every canceling campaign is necessarily grounded in bias.”

 

And therein lies the danger, it may be one person’s supposed act, an assumed intent, an otherwise innocent lapse of judgement that sparks the canceling or ostracizing. There is no judge and jury to decide, there is no chance of defense, and often there is no chance of redemption. And what might offend one or some really seems to have no effect on others.

 

We need to exercise sensitivity and respect towards others. We need to educate ourselves about the social mores of different groups and understand how some traditions may be purely innocent in their intent. We need to respect everyone’s right to an opinion and to a large extent their right to free speech — of course we also need to be aware that IF we find our actions are offensive then we need to change them. And if we are offended by someone’s unintentional offense, it is our obligation to say something in a non-combative way at which time we should be able to expect their consideration in the future.

 

There are certainly actions which are known to be wrong, which will hurt others and if we flagrantly ignore those hurts, then of course we are in the wrong. But if someone makes an otherwise innocent mistake, let’s not become the stereotyped “popular kids” and cast out others without regard for their feelings.

 


 

 

Monday, February 1, 2016

Family Dynamics ~ #MondayBlogs


“Our Family Puts the FUN in Dysfunctional”


Not everyone in a family has the same beliefs and desires. Each person is an individual; each person is capable of forming his or her own opinion. Sometimes children and parents squabble over their differences. Most times those differences are resolved in reasonable ways and at other times they may cause tension and division.

Every parent who has raised more than one child is aware, at some point, that although the children were raised in the same household and allegedly with the same values and influences, there comes a time when they are just so different from each other.

I look at my own two offspring, both independent adults holding down responsible positions — a daughter and a son. As much as I respect them both and am often in awe of their skills and compassion, I notice they are each unique in their own way, both awesome but still different.

Although married and truly in love for more than 40-years, my husband and I often have differences of opinions. During our children’s’ teen-age years we had a household of four very headstrong individuals. Despite the occasional “loud disagreement” we found ways to live together, love each other, and most times LIKE each other anyway. One thing that has always been evident is the laughter, we’ve always found ways to laugh together.

And now I enjoy the times when we all get together for a family dinner or other occasion (and now there are SIX headstrong individuals as they each chose spouses who are equally opinionated and unique). I am pleased to say that each of us knew then and now that we truly belong together, we are part of something together.

Look at all the different TV families depicted through the years and all of the different dynamics: the Goldbergs, the Ricardos, the Connors, the Bradys, the Hechts, the Baxters, and many, many more. What I personally like about the more modern shows is how they depict real people, flaws and all, and not just the “cookie-cutter” versions of the much earlier years.

What are/were your family dynamics? Do you have memories of family dinners, vacations together, road trips? How many of your family happenings were carry-overs from your own childhood? And how many of you see your household traits in your own children’s homes?



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Monday, October 26, 2015

Everybody’s Talking ~ #MondayBlogs


On the average every year from late summer through early November everyone is buzzing about who is running for what office, rumors and meme’s overrun social media, and invariably some “friendships” are ended after heated exchanges.

Growing up all of the neighborhood parents painstakingly instructed all of us kids “Never discuss politics or religion”. To that I say HOGWASH. I believe discourse between opposing views is necessary to growth.

The meaning of the word discourse is “written or spoken communication or debate”; the key term is communication. When I was in junior high school my social studies teacher assigned all of the students to debate teams. Ironically we each had to argue the opposing view from our personal beliefs. The class of 30 (yes, large class sizes) was irate as we were tricked into voicing our honest opinions on subjects such as gun control, abortion, euthanasia,  the draft and other such hot-button items only to be told we had to argue against the very things we believed in!

Mr. L explained that the only way we could be sure of our convictions was to understand all sides and to respect the opposing views. Respecting other viewpoints does not mean we agree, as a matter of fact our willingness to hear other views indicates that we have confidence in our decisions; likewise closing our ears and minds to different beliefs may even be from fear that we could be easily swayed.

Now remember I called this exchange discourse. Discourse is not argumentative or insulting, it’s not threatening and should certainly not include generalizations based on race, ethnicity, gender or religion. Yes we are all guilty of chuckling and sometimes passing along a funny meme or two, sometimes these memes are applauding a candidate or political office without insulting anyone — and yet the vitriol that follows  gets out of hand.

These are the interactions I don’t care to entertain. When an otherwise intellectual conversation is polluted with nasty barbs, insults or profanity then the positive exchange of knowledge and ideas ceases to exist; when someone is being verbally (and sometimes physically) attacked thinking logically often flies out the window and the result is usually anger, yelling, cursing and insults that have no bearing on the original disagreement.

So let’s discuss the issues and stay informed, but leave the fighting elsewhere.


By the way, the next United States Election Day is ‎November 3, 2015. Have you registered to vote yet?


Monday, June 15, 2015

Tolerance, Bigotry and the FaceBook Friend Button ~ #MondayBlogs


Our parents tried to teach us to lead confrontation-free lives with the cautionary advice “Never discuss politics or religion.” But did we listen… of course not. And with the advent of social media networks it has become easier than ever to give ourselves voice about anything and everything.

Does anyone really change the way someone votes in the next election? I’m sure that we can all play a part in spreading rumors and political mudslinging, but does it really have an effect where it actually makes a difference? I honestly believe that most people opinionated enough to support a cause are not relying on Facebook or Twitter for research; most people will read newspapers (hopefully several different sources), attend political rallies, research history in library and visit a candidate’s web-site to determine how they will vote. People who read a Facebook post about a hot-seat item will most likely hit the LIKE button or UN-friend the author – and then there are the FEW who will research the alleged quotes, past behavior, and political history with an open mind.

How much power do your rants and ravings on FaceBook really hold?

Is it a good thing that we express ourselves in a public forum? Yes it is. Is it worth getting into an argument online? Probably not.

In my opinion, most people voicing their political views on Facebook have already made up their minds and aren’t willing to discuss the issues no matter how many rationales you post to them. Do people like to argue? I don’t think so… but arguing on-line and being the one who started it all, now that is sense of power. Personally I like having opinions and I like to express myself, I am after all a writer aka one who communicates. For me reading someone else’s opposing view is a chance for education and personal growth, it helps me understand different perspectives; however I don’t welcome hateful speech, claims without sources, name calling or threats. I make it known on my social media pages and blogs that I can delete AT MY DISCRETION any commentary that if considered offensive.

How many of you participate in political/religious/trending issues on Facebook and other social media sites? Do you think your words have any true impact? I’d love to hear your responses.


Inspired by the article Before You Unfriend Your Facebook Pal, There’s Something You Should Know http://madworldnews.com/unfriend-facebook-pal/