CHILDHOOD MEMORIES

Recently a question was asked on Facebook, "What do YOU remember from your childhood that children today would not?"

 

It was very interesting to see some of the answers, which included: The Flintstones TV Show; Lite-Brite; 45rpm records inside books; rotary telephones; The Andy Griffith Show; Howdy-Doody; Captain Kangaroo; Tinker Toys; Slinky; and several more.

 

I remember the metal TV Dinner trays (this was WELL BEFORE microwave ovens). In my house my parents would allow us to pick our favorites and once a week or so we were allowed to eat our TV dinners in front of the television (well, they WERE TV dinners!). My mom called it our "Dining at the Movies Night". My dad's favorite was either the meatloaf or turkey and stuffing, mommy liked the Southern Fried Chicken. My sister and I always tried to choose something "exotic and different" than our normal fare… after all, it was like a night of dining out and watching (mostly) comedies. Nowadays there are so many choices of quick, easy, pop-in-the-microwave meals, it has lost its novelty.

 

Drive-in movies! Yes, that was always special — especially since my folks rarely got babysitters even when they wanted to go out. My dad would put a board across the back seat and pad it with a big sleeping bag, then my sister and I would bring our pillows, blankets and favorite stuffed animal and we would go to sleep in the back while our parents had their "date night". (I got into trouble when my mom found out I was often peeking at the big screen instead of actually sleeping, LOL). I remember the particular drive-in theatre my folks went to the most, there was a playground and my folks always managed to buy us hot dogs for dinner and then let us play on the swing sets until we changed into our PJs and bunked down in the back seat.

 

My dad worked hard to make a living and when they could afford it, we always went to a motel called the Jolly Roger outside of Atlantic City, LONG BEFORE it was a casino mecca. His vacation was always the last two weeks of August and I remember many, many summers where we spent a week meeting the same group of friends and going to the boardwalk, swimming in the ocean and playing at the motel's mini-playground and pool. That was where I learned to swim, it was unintentional… I FELL into the pool. My dad had been relaxing on a lounger and my sister and I weren't allowed in the water without him, I still used a swimming tube. But I saw him peeking at us as we played, and I decided to tease him by running to the diving board and jumping on it. He sternly told me to get off and I realized he was serious, but when I jumped off the board I tripped and fell into the deep end of the pool. Desperately trying not to sink, I managed to swim underwater towards the nearest ladder. My dad was pretty quick, he was in the pool and swimming towards me and pulled me up just before I actually reached the ladder — he was both relieved and angry. I was just happy to hold onto him.

 

What are the things you remember from your childhood? When I spoke to my own offspring about some of my memories, they had NO IDEA what I was talking about. Maybe one day they'll get the same quizzical looks from their own offspring when they talk about their recollections.

Reason for Thanks

As a child I wanted to be an actress or a police officer… at some point I think I wanted to be a wild cowgirl riding horses for a living. What I remember wanting the most was to be a child forever in the loving and protective arms of my parents and always tagging along with my big sister.

I was just six-years-old when my paternal grandfather died and I saw my father cry. I crawled onto his lap and cried on his shoulder telling him I never wanted to grow up if it meant losing people you loved. (Daddy called it The Peter Pan Complex) He hugged me so tight and told me that he had no regrets about growing up because it meant that he met my mom, married her, and they had my sister and me. He said that growing up was a good thing even though sometimes you might have reason to cry because I would have so many more wonderful things come my way. He told me to enjoy everything that life brought to me and to treasure every memory that came before.

Truthfully I had a fantastic childhood. We never had a lot of money, but I always felt that I had everything I could want. I remember having a terrific dollhouse and furniture — the dollhouse was a big cardboard box, the furniture was plastic throwaways from the manufacturing company where my dad worked, the window curtains were remnants of cloth left over from the school clothes my mom handmade for us, and while the dolls that “lived” there didn’t really fit, it didn’t matter, I loved it. My sister was my best friend and she let me tag along with her friends and I always had fun because everyone treated me so nicely, I was everyone's "little sister". Our parents always made time for us whether it was watching TV (in costume!) with my dad or baking cookies with my mom, and so many more things.

Both of my parents passed away shortly after I was married, so did my husband’s folks, and I cried. But I remembered my dad’s words to me and I looked forward to what the future would bring. We struggled to have children, a couple of miscarriages and then our daughter, and another miscarriage and then our son was born. As is our custom to name after the deceased, our daughter is named for my mom, and our son for my dad and my mother-in-law (a niece is named for my father-in-law). Watching our children grow to be adults has been a joy and seeing them happy with their own spouses is so fulfilling. Daddy was so right, I have so many memories to treasure and so many wonderful things that came into my life.

My mom used to make a huge Thanksgiving feast for the family, including aunts and uncles and cousins, each year and I swear I can still remember the savory smells from her tiny apartment kitchen (I marvel at how much food she was always able to cook for so many!). Life is different, the family schedules are tighter and distances are greater (and two of my four children work on Thanksgiving), so we don’t always have the same gatherings, but the sentiment is still there. This year my husband and I (we’ll be married 44-years next month) went to a grand Thanksgiving feast at our community association — our first since we moved here last December — and we enjoyed ourselves immensely.

Thanksgiving is a time of appreciation and gratitude, and I have so very much to be thankful for. I am thankful for the love of my life, the man who is a hero in every way (and yes, the man who influences my concept of every romantic hero I write about), I am so grateful for our children and their mates, and my pussycats and grand-fur-babies. I am so happy to still have my sister (who is still one of my best friends), her husband (who is more like a brother to me), and their sons and families. I am also blessed with great sister-in-laws and brother-in-laws, and nephews and nieces and their families. I'm grateful for my readers and their support.

And most of all what I am thankful are my dad’s wise words to me, to look forward to life and all the joys it can bring my way.

My wishes for all of you — have a truly wonderful and meaningful Thanksgiving.

Wishing you a Happy Thanksgiving!

Daily Prompt ~ Distance ~ #MondayBlogs

I found a terrific writing site (thanks to my friend Sugana) — The Daily Post: Daily Prompts provides a NEW daily prompt every day to give every writer a way to put a spark in her/his creativity. I decided to join this group every so often...

Today's Prompt is DISTANT

Definition of Distant: [adjective] far away in space or time, "distant parts of the world". synonyms: faraway, far off, far, far-flung, remote, out of the way, outlying, extrasolar, "distant parts of the world"; long ago, bygone, olden; ancient, prehistoric; literary of yore, olden, "the distant past"; away, off, apart, "half a mile distant".

What does the word DISTANT make me think of? Distant memories come to mind.

There’s the distant memory of a mother’s comforting kisses whenever a boo-boo made my child-self cry, or her comforting embrace when teenage angst seemed like the most tragic thing in the world. There’s also the distant memory of my father being able to fix anything in the world no matter how shattered the toy might be. As I reached my teenage years and entered adulthood my dad always managed to say exactly the things I needed to hear. I was just a newlywed when my parents passed away and I do miss those memories.

Now as an adult reaching my golden years with my own grown offspring I think back to every time I tried to sooth their aches, whether physical or in the heart, and wondered if my hugs and kisses were as magical as my parents’ were. And though they are now adults and more-or-less have no need of mom and dad to fix their problems, they are still my kids and always will be. Every time they make a turn that I want to give some advice about I go back to those distant memories and wonder what my dad would have said. Luckily most times I think at least twice and try to keep my mouth shut. I wonder if my children will one day have distant memories of those times that I didn’t meddle?

Life is made up of distant memories that influence all of our actions today and tomorrow. Distant memories can seem so sweet, some tug at the heart, and others that once felt so monumental now seem so insignificant. Our memories can sustain us and guide us and maybe sometimes embarrass us… but I wouldn’t trade those distant memories, those are my keepsakes forever.

Home is Where the Safety Net Is ~ #MondayBlogs

As we have now reached the time in our lives when we are facing empty-nest years, I can't help looking back and examining our parenting prowess and hoping that we did a decent job.

In our home our children brought home school drawings and projects which were posted on the refrigerator and the kitchen walls. Our living room walls were filled with family pictures (predominantly the children) through the years, and even when they were "naughty" and being receiving just-punishment, they were never denied affirmations of love. As a mom I tended to be over-protective and it took a whole lot of will-power to learn to cut the apron-strings, but I wanted my children to feel and be safe from whatever forces I could control.  We wanted our children to know the real world, even the ugly side, but we never wanted them to feel they would have to face it alone.

I believe that a child's home should be the place they feel safe, secure, encouraged and loved.  I know that there are situations where children are cheated by abusive parents and that thought so totally angers me. I am talking about the "average" expectations of home life — the type of environment every child should be entitled to; I wish every child happiness, safety and love.

My 30-year-old just married son  and I had a recent conversation about parenting. His insights, as usual, left me thinking.

We talked his definition of a Safe Haven, a term I've used to try to describe my ideal of home life. To him a Safe Haven kept a child isolated from real-world problems, the parents would shelter their offspring and in the end, not because of any ill-will, deny them the ability to make hard decisions on their own. According to my son, parents need to allow their children to fail now and then, and to learn that they are not always the best. He was vehement that Participation Trophies are horrible life lessons that served as a reward for not even trying. But he did assure me that his childhood was filled with love and encouragement and that he wasn't complaining.

Even though we might have disagreed on some definitions, we did agree on the need to encourage children to try their best and that there were times they might not succeed. It is okay to fail IF YOU TRIED and that winning was never a requirement to be loved; however competition was healthy and winners should be acknowledged and rewarded. If you support the idea of Participation Trophies for very young children, they should never replace or be substituted for winning accolades. If someone (child or adult) is part of a winning team effort, you can acknowledge all of the players, but the reward for the MVP should stand out. Truth be told, if my effort and accomplishment is greater than another person's, it is a slight to receive the same recognition — why should I even bother?

Daughter and son are married adults with spouses who help to provide support and encouragement nowadays. Our daughter has constantly reminded us that we raised her to be independent and able to make her own decisions and when necessary they work their problems and decisions out as couples.. I am comforted by how capable they both are. I look forward to the day I get to see what kind of parents my offspring will be, which of our methods will be emulated and which will be avoided.

For now, I am learning to cook for two again, to make our own plans and to admire the adults our children have become. And I am hoping that I've done a decent job as mom.

Friendship, when the ship sets sail ~ #MondayBlogs

While I do have some friends from childhood, and at my age that is a long time, there are some who have long since disappeared from view.

In a way it’s sad because of the memories of fun times, but in some ways it’s healthy because it can mean growth and maturity. I am not the same person I was way back in junior high school when best friend Sondra and I were inseparable. That doesn’t mean I don’t still feel a fondness for my friend and wonder from time to time how she is doing. Our lives obviously took us in different directions and, as I am sure she has, I’ve made other friends and experienced different adventures.

Once in a while you are lucky to connect with someone who does become a seemingly permanent fixture in your life; these are the people that you’ve grown with, shared common interests and yet have managed to retain your own identity. Whether gone from your present or still around, every friendship you’ve shared brings riches to your life that helps to make you who you are.

Of course there are the rarities, the friends who are so much a part of your life that you couldn’t possibly think of your life without them – I am lucky to have a few of those too. I married one and another I was blessed to share parents with… and of course there are two I gave birth to, lol. And yes I have a few “BFFs” that I’m not related to as well.

This is a salute to friends both here and gone and a thank you for being in my life. I’ve enjoyed our adventures, appreciated the support, cared about you and learned from you. All my friends will always have a place in my heart.