Highs and Lows

 

Many times in life we can have both moments of happiness and moments that bring us tears. It isn't an easy choice which moment to focus on, but if you find yourself always ignoring your joys and dwelling on your sorrows then you never experience happiness.

 

Everybody has disappointments, losses and worries in their life — but also we find reasons to smile and feel content. Never forget the happiness you’ve shared with someone even on the day that they are no longer be with you, embrace your memories to find strength and hope. In Judaism it is common to offer condolences with the words “May his/her memory forever be a blessing”; these words are meant to help the survivors live their lives remembering not only the happiness they shared, but also encouraging them to live the kind of life the lost loved one would want “you” to have. By focusing on the good times and appreciating the principles taught, you find strength to go on and make your life worth so much.

 

It isn’t only death where we need to focus on GOOD THINGS, it’s every morning you rise to enjoy the sunlight on your face, every evening you find the softness of a pillow to comfort you as you sleep; appreciate every meal as if it were a banquet while it assuages any hunger pains; don’t envy your neighbor for their shiny new car in the driveway when you can sleep in and maybe work from home instead of navigating a traffic jam on your way to work; and enjoy the cuddles of a pussycat instead of bemoaning your temporary loneliness. I learned painstakingly to never say “this is the worst it could be” instead of focusing on the things I did have, don’t make that mistake.

 

It is alright to wish for more, but don’t ignore the things you do have already. Never turn your back on the good things that come your way, don’t be envious of what someone else has and instead acknowledge all the things you do have. And here’s a little thing I’ll let you in on, there is always somebody out there who is envious of the things YOU have. Unfortunately, it seems to be human nature to not only be VERY aware of the negative things around us, but to dwell on them as well. Shiny and ritzy are not necessarily signs of success, money has never guaranteed happiness. Look around you and chances are that you will see good things, things to make you smile, things to comfort, and things that bring you satisfaction and happiness.

 

While you are appreciating your own “good things”, try taking the time to give a stranger a smile, to let a service worker know you appreciate their efforts, to hug your loved ones, and even cuddle with your fur-babies… you just might make someone else’s day. Spread the joy. There’s a reason the word SMILE has a “mile” in it, it goes a long way.

 

Reason for Thanks

As a child I wanted to be an actress or a police officer… at some point I think I wanted to be a wild cowgirl riding horses for a living. What I remember wanting the most was to be a child forever in the loving and protective arms of my parents and always tagging along with my big sister.

I was just six-years-old when my paternal grandfather died and I saw my father cry. I crawled onto his lap and cried on his shoulder telling him I never wanted to grow up if it meant losing people you loved. (Daddy called it The Peter Pan Complex) He hugged me so tight and told me that he had no regrets about growing up because it meant that he met my mom, married her, and they had my sister and me. He said that growing up was a good thing even though sometimes you might have reason to cry because I would have so many more wonderful things come my way. He told me to enjoy everything that life brought to me and to treasure every memory that came before.

Truthfully I had a fantastic childhood. We never had a lot of money, but I always felt that I had everything I could want. I remember having a terrific dollhouse and furniture — the dollhouse was a big cardboard box, the furniture was plastic throwaways from the manufacturing company where my dad worked, the window curtains were remnants of cloth left over from the school clothes my mom handmade for us, and while the dolls that “lived” there didn’t really fit, it didn’t matter, I loved it. My sister was my best friend and she let me tag along with her friends and I always had fun because everyone treated me so nicely, I was everyone's "little sister". Our parents always made time for us whether it was watching TV (in costume!) with my dad or baking cookies with my mom, and so many more things.

Both of my parents passed away shortly after I was married, so did my husband’s folks, and I cried. But I remembered my dad’s words to me and I looked forward to what the future would bring. We struggled to have children, a couple of miscarriages and then our daughter, and another miscarriage and then our son was born. As is our custom to name after the deceased, our daughter is named for my mom, and our son for my dad and my mother-in-law (a niece is named for my father-in-law). Watching our children grow to be adults has been a joy and seeing them happy with their own spouses is so fulfilling. Daddy was so right, I have so many memories to treasure and so many wonderful things that came into my life.

My mom used to make a huge Thanksgiving feast for the family, including aunts and uncles and cousins, each year and I swear I can still remember the savory smells from her tiny apartment kitchen (I marvel at how much food she was always able to cook for so many!). Life is different, the family schedules are tighter and distances are greater (and two of my four children work on Thanksgiving), so we don’t always have the same gatherings, but the sentiment is still there. This year my husband and I (we’ll be married 44-years next month) went to a grand Thanksgiving feast at our community association — our first since we moved here last December — and we enjoyed ourselves immensely.

Thanksgiving is a time of appreciation and gratitude, and I have so very much to be thankful for. I am thankful for the love of my life, the man who is a hero in every way (and yes, the man who influences my concept of every romantic hero I write about), I am so grateful for our children and their mates, and my pussycats and grand-fur-babies. I am so happy to still have my sister (who is still one of my best friends), her husband (who is more like a brother to me), and their sons and families. I am also blessed with great sister-in-laws and brother-in-laws, and nephews and nieces and their families. I'm grateful for my readers and their support.

And most of all what I am thankful are my dad’s wise words to me, to look forward to life and all the joys it can bring my way.

My wishes for all of you — have a truly wonderful and meaningful Thanksgiving.

Wishing you a Happy Thanksgiving!

Appreciation

“We are on this planet but once, and to spend it holding back our gushing appreciation of the things that light us up is a shameful waste.” ~ Jen Sincero

          Some people find it very easy to say the word “Thanks” whether they truly mean it or not. For many it still is a welcomed word to hear, others may hear a “Thanks, but…” when it isn’t sincere. Perhaps we should be grateful for the speaker’s civility and the attempt to acknowledge our efforts, after all there are far too many times when our extra efforts are just, expected.

Although most people do a job well out of self-pride, or hold a door because that is how we were taught to do, or give a thoughtful gift just because we want to bring a smile to someone’s face, it still is wonderful to know that our actions are appreciated. I recently read an acknowledgment page in a fellow author’s book (Brenda Hill, With Full Malice) and upon seeing my name listed it filled me with a nice feeling that I was thought of and remembered for simply answering a (medical) question.

It doesn’t take a huge life changing action to do something to help another person, and it shouldn’t take that huge life changing action to be appreciated. We remember our school teachers that always seemed to fill our learning with excitement. We remember our parents for feeding and clothing us. We might even remember a doctor who helped us through some physical pain. But how often have we really taken the time to say “Thank you” and really mean it? How often have we shared our appreciation with remembrance and even passing along a kindness?

Don’t take advantage of the folks who have made your life better, no matter how minor or major their actions might have been. Get into the habit of letting someone know that they have made even a part of your day a little more pleasant, or your life a whole lot easier. Let your children know the joy they bring to you daily, and let your parents know how much you appreciate every time that they put you first. If you are a boss your employee’s paycheck may be very welcomed, but also letting him/her know that you appreciate the good job she is doing will make her day that much more pleasant.

Showing your sincere gratitude has benefits not only for the recipient but also for you: “Tossing off the half-hearted "thanks" won't cut it; deep gratitude has to come from within and in a meaningful way. This spotlights the highly social aspect of feeling grateful. Gratitude is also getting a great deal of attention as a facet of positive psychology: Practicing gratitude means paying attention to what we are thankful for to the degree of feeling more kind and compassionate toward the world at large.” (Psychology Today)

And in that vein of practicing sincere gratitude, I am thankful for each and every one of my blog readers and those that follow me on social media. Your support is a great part of why I love what I do.

Missed Phone Calls ~ #MondayBlogs

There are times I go to pick up the phone to make a phone call, just to chat, and realize that some of the people I most enjoyed talking to are gone. The two who I miss the most are my parents, it was always great to speak to either one, work out problems, share the day and simply connect. My dad could be a no-holds-barred and would automatically tell me how he felt about the things I needed to talk about; my mom was super terrific and it was evident she never lost her talents as a social worker, she was an ideal sounding board during my teen angst years.

Today, June 13, is my mom’s birthday, she would have been 99 but since she passed at the ripe young age of 61 I really have no way of knowing what she would have been like if she were still around. So I am looking upward and wishing her a happy day and sending her my love and somehow I have confidence that she hears me. She’s also probably dancing up a storm with my dad (he was 58 when he passed), they loved to dance even though my mom was partially disabled — he never minded having her lean on him for support. I am so glad to still be able to hear their voices now and then, to remember them, and to have known them so well that when I am faced with a quandary I can think what would Mommy or Daddy do.

I was very lucky to have also shared wonderful conversations with others who have moved on, just to mention a few and hopefully they can hear how appreciative I am for the times we talked — Aunt Ruth & Uncle Erv, Aunt Sally, Titi Dolly, Aunt Wilma, my cousin Roberta, and yes there were others. In my present day I try not to waste time, I speak freely with my friends and family, and we share whatever is on our minds… in person when possible, on the phone when necessary, but always often. My husband and brother-in-law teasingly (I think?) say that without my sister and me the phone company would lose its purpose.

Aside from using this opportunity to wish my mom a wonderful birthday… 
        HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOMMY!

I want to remind everyone to stay in touch with their loved ones, talk just for the sake of talking, never waste a day — because tomorrow all you may have left are the memories and you will want plenty to sustain you.

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Enjoy Life's Everyday Marvels ~ #MondayBlogs

If you ever get “bored with your life” look around, there are so many stunning wonders around us. There are things that defy even the most logical explanations…

Seeing a rainbow after a rainstorm catches our attention; never mind that a rainbow is an optical phenomena caused by a combination of moisture and sunlight — to our eyes it is a wondrous colorful light display, it’s a treat for our visual senses. Rainbows are the source of many legends and superstitions, some people consider seeing a rainbow an omen of good fortune like the biblical rainbow after the great flood.

Spring flowers from bud to bloom are beautiful and miraculous as they spread their petals towards the sunlight. The flowers are fragrant and colorful, individual works of art done by nature. Let’s get “scientific” and talk about the nutrients in the soil and bees that pollinate the flowers – how do the flowers nourish themselves from the soil, even with store bought assistance? The very fact that these natural wonders appear should make us all smile.

There is an old saying “Stop and Smell the Roses”. It’s not a literal suggestion, not usually; the phrase means to take time to appreciate the little things around you. Spend time with loved ones, relax and read a good book, enjoy the sights on your way to work, sing along with the radio…

Taking the time to “Stop and Smell the Roses”.is a way to de-stress, we feel more satisfied with life as we appreciate the richness and beauty that surrounds us. Enjoying positive moments adds to our happiness. When we feel happy and content it’s easier to cope with disappointments that may come our way. Our lives seem fuller.

Wake up in the morning looking forward to the joys and beauty that awaits you. Have a great day.