Showing posts with label shame. Show all posts
Showing posts with label shame. Show all posts

Sunday, February 11, 2018

About Bartlett’s Rule & #MeToo



When I was writing Bartlett’s Rule I drew on a lot of experiences that my friends and I had growing up. According to statistics from RAINN “One out of every six American women has been a victim of attempted or completed rape in her lifetime.” My friends and I definitely knew the reality of that number.

In Bartlett’s Rule Paige is unable to talk about her experience, she feels shame and doubts that people will believe her. Even though she has gotten some therapy, it is hard to get past the guilt of being a victim — this is a very normal reaction and one which keeps many victims silent. In Bartlett’s Rule my characters learn that being a “victim” is not the victim’s fault, the story line also shows that sexual assault is not an act of love or even just healthy sexual desire, it is a show of force and control.

Recently the #MeToo movement has helped many women speak out and see that they are far from alone; it has also allowed some male victims of sexual assault to speak out as well. While there are many who have stated that “they are just coming out of the woodwork” there is a modicum of truth; finally victims who have remained silent all these years are speaking out. Facebook hosted so many comments containing the simple #MeToo moniker and there were a lot of discussions.

Still there are people who doubt, people who question about the movement inspiring over reactions. Some have even complained about being falsely accused of sexual harassment, people are worried about things that can be conceived in the workplace as improper, and still others who simply cannot fathom the amount of people coming forward. It is a difficult topic, too difficult to ignore. Perhaps one day when folks are more aware of their own actions and words, when they are more respectful of others’ feelings, and they are less judgmental about what types of clothing were worn or where someone was walking we may be able to weed out the over reactions, reduce the incidents of abuse, and help to heal victims without any shame or guilt.


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Saturday, February 3, 2018

A Story for Today — Courage of the Heart

About 

Courage of the Heart

by Chelle Cordero

When I wrote Courage of the Heart in 1999 it was well before the #MeToo movement, ironically the story is right on spot for 2018.

But in this case it is not the female lead who was victimized; however she does endure many perils in the story. My male lead, Adam, is not the “typical” romance novel hero, he has seen ugliness and cruelty and has lived his life a wounded man. Until Davie comes into his life…

She’s an innocent as far as he is concerned and he believes he shouldn’t muddy her life with his shame, but he finds it hard to fight his attraction to her. He finally brings himself to let her know why he’s “not good enough” for her, expecting her to walk away in disgust — he is astonished when she doesn’t leave him.

Though there are perils and dangers to both of them when Adam’s past forces its way back into their lives they work together to save themselves. Davie’s love as saved Adam and his love, in turn, saves Davie.

The story in Courage of the Heart is touted with “Sometimes love is the only cure for the very deepest of emotional wounds.” Each of the main characters in this story is strong, together they are triumphant.

COURAGE OF THE HEART shows us that sometimes love is the only cure for the very deepest of emotional wounds. Adam Sherman has remained quiet about his scandalous past and is comfortable with his reputation as a womanizing and dedicated bachelor. He is an expert in the field of computers including programming, networking and hacking. At twenty-five years old, he is content with his management job at a local Internet Provider.

Davie Prescott is twenty years old and a college student who is working part-time at the same Internet Provider where Adam is employed. She was raised in a very close knit family of aunts, uncles and cousins. She and her widowed father are very close. Adam is attracted to Davie, but he shies away from her innocence because he feels his shameful past is too harsh for her existence. Adam finally shares his darkest secret with Davie and is amazed to find that she doesn´t turn away from him.

But when Adam’s past catches up to him, he soon learns that there´s a lot more at stake than just his nightmares. Adam is prepared to give Davie up if need be in order to protect her until he learns that she´s got a secret of her own. With Davie´s help, Adam learns a courage that is born of love, courage of the heart.

The story of the two lovers takes a series of unexpected and fast paced turns where lives, sanity and love are put in jeopardy. Their commitment to one another results in a spirit that binds them together and helps them to overcome physical and emotional dangers.
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Monday, September 5, 2016

Yes, I’m Angry ~ #MondayBlogs


Yes, I am angry… and you should be too.
Sex can be great when it is something that BOTH parties want, but let’s not sugarcoat the ugly — sexual ABUSE is not great for anyone.
Sexual abuse, whether it is the stranger fondling someone on a crowded subway, forcing someone to perform a non-intercourse sex act, or a #NoMistakingItForWhatItIs rape is abuse and is wrong.
If you have to threaten someone with a weapon, physical strength, emotional blackmail or threats of punishment (of the victim or someone else) in order to “score”, then it is RAPE, ABUSE, WRONG. Clothing, intoxication, the hour of the day or night, or even a history of previous relations is NOT an invitation to get laid. The word NO means IT AIN’T HAPPENING. The inability to say no, or to say anything, means IF I CAN’T CONSENT, YOU DON’T HAVE PERMISSION. Rape is not a mistake, it is a malicious act. And rape is not even sex, it is a sick need for domination. And one more thing, REAL men do not rape, EVER.
Now be aware that rape and sexual abuse can happen to women or men, girls or boys. And sexual abuse can be instigated by men or women. Since I am a woman though I am using the female’s POV.
Most acts of rape or sexual abuse go unreported; many times this is due to shame, the belief that no one will believe the victim, that no one DOES believe the victim (schools are notorious for this), or that the victim is somehow convinced that SHE ASKED FOR IT. Sometimes it takes time before the victim can talk about it and it is long after rape kits can add validity. Sometimes the act can never be spoken about because that is just the way the victim has found to cope. Most times, thankfully, the victim moves on and survives and finds a way to work around the triggers that haunt her for the rest of her life. And sometimes the victim simply denies that she was ever abused… why? Because she couldn’t go on living if she admits it.
Sometimes rape is reported, immediately or shortly after, and the rapist is taken into custody… sometimes even the case does go to court. And invariably the victim is the one who is on trial, lawyers bring up the victim’s social conduct, the clothes she wore, brings in previous lovers to prove promiscuity, and G-d help her if she was ever abused in the past, they will use that to “prove” a pattern where the victim obviously enjoys it.
Of course not all is gloom, we do have a rare conviction now and then and a really fair and impartial judge acknowledges that a young man’s sports accomplishments would be ruined by a long imprisonment so he sends the guy to jail for a whole six months (with good behavior he’s out in three). And the judges who realize how charging a young man with rape could ruin his entire future now that is priceless.
Sigh, one more rant. I am aware that sadly not every report of rape is true, but false reports are extremely rare. There is the occasional set-up, publicity seeker, or woman who is looking to cover her tracks and lie about an illicit evening. And to these women, rare though it may be — your impact is huge and you may as well be raping these victims all over again, because each time your lies are exposed, more true and HONEST victims are doubted and made to suffer again. So congratulations for being part of the pain, I hope you can sleep well… even though you don’t deserve it.
If you have been victimized, you are not alone, you are not wrong and you have nothing to be ashamed of. If you care for someone who has been raped or abused you are not to be blamed. For more information on the ugly truth about sexual abuse, incest, and rape you can go here: https://www.rainn.org/after-sexual-assault and for support check out http://www.aftersilence.org/ or call the WOAR 24 Hour Hotline: 215-985-3333. You can Google regional support groups closer to your location if needed.
 You are not alone. You are not a lost cause. You can heal.



Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Skeletons in the Closet

     I just had a really good chuckle reading a quote from George Bernard Shaw,

"If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance."

This particular phrase has a funny, special memory for me...

Just weeks before my wedding, my then fiance and I were in my bedroom in my parents' Bronx apartment - he was sitting on my bed while I was packing clothing and getting ready to move into OUR new home, a one bedroom and overpriced apartment in the Hudson Valley.

Mark thought he was being cute when he said, with a straight face, "Well I guess I should have asked before, but we're getting married soon so I can't put it off any longer. Do you have any skeletons in the closet I should know about?"

I looked at him and then at my CLOSED wardrobe door (actually two sliding doors), he couldn't understand my surprised expression. Before he could reassure me that he was only joking, I slid one of the wardrobe doors open - and there, hanging carefully on the closet rod, was a life size cardboard Halloween skeleton! He almost fell off of my bed.

What Mark didn't know was that my parents always allowed me to set up the entry hallway for Halloween. I had rigged this skeleton to come rushing towards the door when I opened it - it always elicited excited shrieks from the little trick-or-treaters. LOL, I never expected to shock my future husband!

We all have some kind of skeleton in our closet - everyone has something to be embarrassed about, some have regrets, and a few have outright horror at the thought of discovery. It's the same for each of my characters - take Tom Hughes from Within the Law for instance...

Tom is easily my favorite hero from any of my books because he is soooo human. He is endearing, a truly good guy, but he is certainly not an angel! Tom has things in his past that he would prefer not having to admit to, things that get broadcast in a packed courtroom when he shows up to TRY to put his high school girlfriend's murderer away. And he has a temper, oy such a temper, that he manages MOST TIMES to control, but loses it during a face-to-face with the lowlife who took the girl away from him.

Tom is not the only one of my characters to have something to hide: Brandon Price in His Lucky Charm wants to hide his privileged upbringing and estranged relationship with his father; in A Chaunce of Riches Samantha Chaunce has to hide the reason she left Ben and married Julian; Adam Sherman in Courage of the Heart is ashamed of his past and worries that he is going to lose Davie once she finds out about it; and in Karma Visited Annie Furman needs to keep her unique gift hidden for fear of ridicule and worse.

Do you have a skeleton in your closet?

Please don't post any true confessions, lol, but think about it; what secret do you have in your past that you would really rather be kept as a buried secret? Was your secret ever exposed and if so how did you cope with it - with a head held high or a face redder than cherries?

And if you really, really need to share, please feel free to comment below.



Saturday, November 30, 2013

12/1/13 WEWRIWA a community of writers and readers

Hi! Welcome to another Weekend Writing Warrior round. Every week writers post 8 sentences on their blogs from a published or unpublished book. Then we "hop" around and leave comments on each other's snippets. Whether our work is already published or in progress, the helpful comments help us become stronger writers on our next WIP. We welcome EVERYONE's comments.
http://www.wewriwa.com/2013/11/weekend-writing-warriors-8sunday-111013.html
See more at the WeWriWa blog.

We're jumping quite a bit ahead in the story. Adam has tried, and tried, to push Davie away, but he fears he's fallen in love with her. Pushing her away again during a bout of pneumonia nearly killed him, literally. While recovering (with Davie's help of course), he resolves to let Davie know how he feels... if she'll have him.

"You said earlier that you wanted to talk."

"Yeah. Davie, this is really important…"

Davie knelt on the carpet next to the couch, "I'm here."

Adam twisted to face her, he realized he was having difficulty finding the right words to start. "It's about us, I want there to be an us, I don't know where this relationship will wind up, but suddenly I find myself thinking of tomorrow…with you, I never meant for that to happen."

"Why does that scare you?" Davie spoke softly.

"It scares me that you might not want to be a part of it," Adam swallowed and looked uncomfortably around the room, he realized that this could be the most important thing he ever had to say. His eyes finally settled on Davie, "Davie, there are some things I have to tell you about my past, some things that may make you walk out and never look back."

For more WeWriWa Snippets, go to: 

It's a good thing that Adam opens up to Davie because in the coming days his past comes crashing in and he winds up fearing for Davie's life.

Next week I am going to start featuring snippets from one of my other works.

The original Courage of the Heart was published in 2001; in 2009 Vanilla Heart Publishing re-published a slightly modified version. Since then VHP has published a total of  ten of my novels, the most recent one being Karma Visited. As I look back I can see how much my writing has changed (hopefully for the better) and posting these snippets and reading your wonderful comments has been very helpful as I start work on my 11th novel.
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And if you decide to use the Amazon-exclusive Audible.com 30-day free trial membership it includes:
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  • Total flexibility - cancel, pause or upgrade membership easily and whenever you like
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Saturday, November 23, 2013

11/24/13 WEWRIWA a community of writers and readers

Hi! Welcome to another Weekend Writing Warrior round. Every week writers post 8 sentences on their blogs from a published or unpublished book. Then we "hop" around and leave comments on each other's snippets. Whether our work is already published or in progress, the helpful comments help us become stronger writers on our next WIP. We welcome EVERYONE's comments.
http://www.wewriwa.com/2013/11/weekend-writing-warriors-8sunday-111013.html
See more at the WeWriWa blog.

Continuing with Courage of the Heart: Davie has been rejected and feels humiliated, she's mad as hell. Adam finds he can't walk away and he is not giving up. In this scene he's shown up (unexpectedly) at her door to invite her to dinner. She softens and instead invites him in to share some of the Thanksgiving leftovers that she brought home with her from her family get-together.


"We really seemed to have a good time together until I acted like such an ass, I'd like to try again."

Davie hesitated, "You never did tell me why?"

"What do you mean?"

"You told me you couldn't be the first, why not?" She was puzzled, "I thought most guys loved to be the first. I don't know, I always thought guys wanted to take a girl's virginity because it was like some special prize or something."

"I, uh…" He turned away from her, "It’s a big responsibility, besides I don’t want to hurt you, physically I mean."

She looked at him incredulously, “That’s really lame.”

For more WeWriWa Snippets, go to: 


AUDIO, PRINT, and ALL ELECTRONIC EDITIONS  
BUY LINKS
And if you decide to use the Amazon-exclusive Audible.com 30-day free trial membership it includes:
  • This audiobook free, plus a bonus audiobook of your choice
  • Exchange any book you don't like with Audible's Great Listen Guarantee
  • Total flexibility - cancel, pause or upgrade membership easily and whenever you like
Smashwords for All Ereaders – https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/1553
Payloadz Instant Download – http://store.payloadz.com/go?id=853573

If you buy a new print edition of this book (or purchased one in the past), you can buy the Kindle edition for only $1.99 (Save 60%). Print edition purchase must be sold by Amazon. Learn more.

Wishing everyone a wonderful, joyous
and fulfilling Thanksgiving.