JUST TIRED!

 

Have you ever had one of those days when you are just too tired to do anything?

 

Who hasn’t?!

 

This past year, especially since March 2020, the COVID pandemic has thrown almost everyone’s life askew and many of us are just plain, darn tired of the isolation, restrictions and of course the news of so many deaths (more than half-a-million!). But how do you know if your “tiredness” is more than just being TIRED?

 

Being tired can be a momentary feeling, listlessness can be a simple as a common cold, or it can be a feeling as if you are banging up against a brick wall with no hope of saving yourself. You are the one that knows yourself best, but that does not mean that you are the only one who can save yourself. Know the signs of burn out and depression.

 

Do you feel as if you have NOTHING to look forward to, as if life has simply left you behind? Do you have difficulty in finding any enjoyment in things you once looked forward to? Do you find that you just don’t care anymore? Do you find it impossible to complete the simple tasks you once were able to breeze through? And do you find yourself using crutches like alcohol, drugs or behavior you wouldn’t normally do? Is it difficult to sleep nights, or do you wake up feeling as if you haven’t slept at all? Do you feel sad as well as fatigued?

 

All cases of severe tiredness and fatigue, especially when you can answer YES to a number of the questions above, should never be ignored. Medically there are a number of reasons why you may be feeling so overtaxed and washed out — don’t ever let a doctor dismiss your symptoms. There are conditions which can affect your blood, your bones, and your mental well-being that MIGHT be affecting you, even your medications might be causing a problem. A full examination and blood-workup might be recommended, so speak to your doctor. (And from my own experience, if the doctor simply laughs and says it’s all in your head without checking you out… get another doctor!)

 

If no physical reasons are found, there is the possibility that you are depressed AND THERE IS NO STIGMA TO SEEKING HELP. While momentary disappointments may be easy to bounce back from, severe depression isn’t. As mentioned above, this past year has been extremely hard on a lot of us; in addition to the pandemic and the financial and social problems it’s caused, our country also went through a very contentious political battle, and social dissension, no matter what the cause, adds to stress. It’s very important to talk and communicate with others, especially professionals, and to make healthy lifestyle choices in your eating habits, exercise, and sleep.

 

There are several support help-lines that will allow you to speak with professional counselors as well as support groups, group counseling and individual counseling services available. Very often your insurance will help cover a portion of any expense you might incur. You can also find tele-therapy with licensed doctors that charge only minimal fees even if you don’t have insurance. Local hospitals and clinics can help put you in touch with the resources you need to help you climb out of your depression.

 

The following resources are just a few and no endorsement is implied:

 If you are a veteran, call the Veterans Crisis Line at 800-273-TALK and press 1 (or chat online at www.VeteransCrisisLine.net).  

 If you or someone else is having thoughts of suicide, call 911 or the Suicide Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 (available 24/7).

Teen-to-Teen Peer counseling is available at 877-YOUTHLINE (WWW.HOPELINE.COM)

AARP lists the Disaster Distress Helpline at 1-800-985-5990 or text TalkWithUs to 66746 for crisis counseling and support for anyone in the U.S. experiencing distress or other behavioral health concerns.

Deadline

Oh my, that word sounds so ominous! Dead… line, it almost sounds like “you will hang at dawn”. It is so final, just like there is nothing beyond. A deadline is a noun and according to Dictionary.com, there are three meanings to this formidable noun: “⁽¹⁾ the time by which something must be finished or submitted; the latest time for finishing something: a five o'clock deadline; ⁽²⁾ a line or limit that must not be passed; ⁽³⁾ (formerly) a boundary around a military prison beyond which a prisoner could not venture without risk of being shot by the guards.”

No wonder the term strikes fear in students, masses of office workers watching the clock, and writers. Missing that deadline could mean a failing grade, an angry boss, or a lost contract. Sometimes life interferes with the assigned deadlines, (a party, an emergency, an illness) but most times that won’t make a lick of difference to the person waiting for that finished product. “The dog ate my homework” just won’t work anymore. It’s truly anxiety producing.

As a creative sort, otherwise known as a freelance writer, I’ve learned the importance of deadlines. In all my years of professional writing I have truly only missed one deadline, I honestly can’t remember the reason why, but it certainly didn’t go well. Now creative people are not usually known for routine or well-controlled organization, but when it comes to a deadline, oh boy! In addition to my paid writing gigs I sometimes offer my services in a volunteer situation, and I treat these voluntary pacts the same way I do my business dealings, as professionally as I can muster.

This past week was a challenge on a voluntary gig. I had to wait for input from another individual who does not live by the golden rule of YOU HAVE TO MAKE THE DEADLINE. I am not sure what her business is but I do know that she controls her hours and her work output. So I finally got her input and set about to editing it and then placing it in the item that was due for publication just four days later. And I sent it (via email) to the next step, the person in charge of distribution — only that person, unbeknown to me, had a family event and was away for the weekend and so my finished work sat unattended. As the date of distribution came without any progress I do admit feeling some (minor) palpitations.

Now this was a challenge. I had no way of getting this item out to the people who were promised its receipt. What to do???? Well to make a probably boring long story short, I did manage to get the item posted on a substitute site and the item was emailed from another source a day late. I had posted an apology to those waiting for it and promised delivery as soon as possible. In the end it was no harm no foul, folks appreciated being kept in the loop as such. Within three days of the original deadline everything was back to normal and I got to breathe a sigh of relief.

Of course now I am sitting here wondering, just where did my once fun-loving, free-wheeling self go? And when did I become so rigid? I don’t want to have an anal personality! I am NOT reserved and meticulously neat. A long, long time ago a teenage boyfriend once dedicated the song Wild Thing to me and everyone agreed it fit. I’m fun-loving and wild and unpredictable… or so I thought.

Sigh, is this what it means to be a grownup?

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Life Happens ~ #MondayBlogs

At some point in everyone’s life there is at least one something stressful… and if it is only one you are indeed the exception. Money, health, sex, news reports, children, family illness or worse death, incessant weather conditions, household maintenance, traffic accidents, career, and on-and-on. Stress producers seem to assail us at every opportunity which is ot to say that we have only negative things happening, there is also joy, satisfaction, feel good days, hugs and the feeling of accomplishment. It is a genuine crisis whenever something literally upsets the apple-cart, but it is how we cope and move on that makes us different.

Unhealthy coping mechanisms make some people turn food, alcohol, drugs or reckless behavior. The temporary fix we can achieve by getting high may be very effective in allowing us to take our minds off of what ails us and may even allow us the time to catch our breath and get a different perspective, one that is easier to live with — in the end though many of these unhealthy coping mechanisms leave us with added complications. The stress finds a way to repeat, even if slightly different and the more frayed our nerves are, the more we toss and turn rather than sleep, the more we eat until we feel bloated, the less we feel capable of dealing with the stress and the faster we succumb. Stress can cause body aches and illness, it can destroy relationships, it can distract us while driving, confuse us when we try to work and embarrass us when we can’t control our tears. Stress can raise our blood pressure making us more susceptible to heart attacks and strokes. Simply put, stress STINKS.

We can’t eliminate stress from our lives. How can we find ways to control the damage stress can cause? And how can we cope and move on relatively normally when it seems arrows are being shot at us from every angle?

Begin every day with a personal pep talk in the bathroom mirror telling yourself how capable you are, how good you look, how much you can accomplish and that you like yourself. If you find yourself getting angry or feeling like you want to cry, get in the habit of “stopping” by counting to ten or reciting a favorite jingle. Spend some “me-time” every day doing something that is pleasurable and healthy like taking a walk, putting music on and dancing in your living room, doing arts and crafts, singing in the shower, writing short stories, but do something for a few minutes every day that is just for you. Daily meditation will help calm your nerves, focus on important things and learn to ignore annoyances; sit in a quiet, comfortable corner and breathe slowly and deeply; close your eyes and imagine a peaceful setting (like water gently lapping at the sands of beach).

Focus on the positive things around you, think about the things you still have even after a loss, and try to see that even unexpected changes in your life (such as losing a job) can lead to better things. Eat healthy foods that your body can actually utilize, foods that are high in nutrients, proteins and have healthy levels of carbs and fats will help keep your body’s chemistry more even. Get enough rest, you will feel better able to face things when you feel refreshed. Pamper yourself a bit, even simple everyday grooming will help to lift your spirits. Daily exercise will activate healthy endomorphins in your body; endomorphins affect the central nervous system and help to ease the body’s perception of pain and fatigue. Don’t naturally assume that the worst will happen, while it may be a real possibility, there is always the chance that a medical test, for example, may uncover a condition that can be treated and cured — my mother used to say “Don’t borrow trouble.”

Remember, don’t take life too seriously…
no one ever gets out alive.

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#MondayBlogs - Think first of others

When someone is upset by an event in their life such as the cancellation of a dream vacation, the loss of a pet, the break-up of a romance which you might not have approved of, or any stress caused by something they feel is important, it is NOT your job to tell them they don’t have a right to be upset. I’ve heard folks tell others that they are not the first person to…, so get over it; or say things like I didn’t like him anyway; it was only a pet; or even comparing their plight to another’s and making it trivial.

Anytime someone faces an abrupt change, or feels like things are beyond their control, or faces a disruption to their routine, it can cause stress and feelings of crisis. People react to stress in individual ways, they have different priorities, strengths and weaknesses. No one has the right to minimize another person’s concerns, fears, love, loss or sadness. Supporting someone who is in crisis mode means respecting their feelings and not putting your own feelings first. You may not care for dogs but telling someone who just lost their beloved pet that “it was only a dog” is cruel and thoughtless.

Practice kindness by showing compassion for someone who is suffering. Compassion begins with understanding their feelings, empathizing with them, and the desire to help them survive the stress. Minimizing and ignoring their feelings may be easier for you, but does nothing to help them. Respect their feelings, don’t criticize them. Be there to lend a shoulder or an ear, hold them (literally or figuratively) and let them know you care. Their feelings are important to them, respect that. This also holds true for celebrating accomplishments – it’s a big thing and important, so applaud them loudly and congratulate them without limits. 

“Compassion brings us to a stop, and for a moment we rise above ourselves.” ~Mason Cooley

I’ve been fortunate with the people surrounding me – one of my pussycats was recently very ill (thank goodness he seems to be recovering nicely) and friends and family offered encouragement and showed genuine concern. It really was appreciated.