JUST TIRED!

 

Have you ever had one of those days when you are just too tired to do anything?

 

Who hasn’t?!

 

This past year, especially since March 2020, the COVID pandemic has thrown almost everyone’s life askew and many of us are just plain, darn tired of the isolation, restrictions and of course the news of so many deaths (more than half-a-million!). But how do you know if your “tiredness” is more than just being TIRED?

 

Being tired can be a momentary feeling, listlessness can be a simple as a common cold, or it can be a feeling as if you are banging up against a brick wall with no hope of saving yourself. You are the one that knows yourself best, but that does not mean that you are the only one who can save yourself. Know the signs of burn out and depression.

 

Do you feel as if you have NOTHING to look forward to, as if life has simply left you behind? Do you have difficulty in finding any enjoyment in things you once looked forward to? Do you find that you just don’t care anymore? Do you find it impossible to complete the simple tasks you once were able to breeze through? And do you find yourself using crutches like alcohol, drugs or behavior you wouldn’t normally do? Is it difficult to sleep nights, or do you wake up feeling as if you haven’t slept at all? Do you feel sad as well as fatigued?

 

All cases of severe tiredness and fatigue, especially when you can answer YES to a number of the questions above, should never be ignored. Medically there are a number of reasons why you may be feeling so overtaxed and washed out — don’t ever let a doctor dismiss your symptoms. There are conditions which can affect your blood, your bones, and your mental well-being that MIGHT be affecting you, even your medications might be causing a problem. A full examination and blood-workup might be recommended, so speak to your doctor. (And from my own experience, if the doctor simply laughs and says it’s all in your head without checking you out… get another doctor!)

 

If no physical reasons are found, there is the possibility that you are depressed AND THERE IS NO STIGMA TO SEEKING HELP. While momentary disappointments may be easy to bounce back from, severe depression isn’t. As mentioned above, this past year has been extremely hard on a lot of us; in addition to the pandemic and the financial and social problems it’s caused, our country also went through a very contentious political battle, and social dissension, no matter what the cause, adds to stress. It’s very important to talk and communicate with others, especially professionals, and to make healthy lifestyle choices in your eating habits, exercise, and sleep.

 

There are several support help-lines that will allow you to speak with professional counselors as well as support groups, group counseling and individual counseling services available. Very often your insurance will help cover a portion of any expense you might incur. You can also find tele-therapy with licensed doctors that charge only minimal fees even if you don’t have insurance. Local hospitals and clinics can help put you in touch with the resources you need to help you climb out of your depression.

 

The following resources are just a few and no endorsement is implied:

 If you are a veteran, call the Veterans Crisis Line at 800-273-TALK and press 1 (or chat online at www.VeteransCrisisLine.net).  

 If you or someone else is having thoughts of suicide, call 911 or the Suicide Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 (available 24/7).

Teen-to-Teen Peer counseling is available at 877-YOUTHLINE (WWW.HOPELINE.COM)

AARP lists the Disaster Distress Helpline at 1-800-985-5990 or text TalkWithUs to 66746 for crisis counseling and support for anyone in the U.S. experiencing distress or other behavioral health concerns.

Mouse Tales

 They call me Jesse.

I don’t know how this started. All I was doing was trying to find a warm house and maybe some food, but there were cats. I had to avoid them, but I was hungry… I had no idea that the door would shut as soon as I reached the peanut butter.

I spent a long scary night in the dark and then they released me into some kind of plastic box, but there was food!

I’m a captive now, but it’s warm. They said they will let me go in the spring.

My belly is full, but this little case is too much like a prison... So, do I make a run for it, or do I stay and fulfill my need to eat? Too many questions for a mouse like me.

Yes... Yes... YES! I am going to make a break for it. Those air vents, I can nibble my way to freedom. Do I really want to though? Yes, I'm a mouse, dammit!

Free, yes, I am free. Wait, someone is coming... Oh no, he's got dinner for me. There is no way I can get back into my cell, he's already seen that I escaped.

Hide...

Hide...

Hide.

Sigh, he went back upstairs and he took my dinner.

Wait, he's coming back, and he's bringing reinforcements. Oh goody. I am going to play Hide n' Seek. Here I am, now you see me — and now you don't.

Oh this is so much fun. They think they have me, hah-hah-hah-hah.

Oh POOP! She caught me!

They are taking me outside. No, no, no, I was just playing.

They put me down in the woodshed, at least there's the cover of leaves and logs that hide the winds. Wow, she just emptied a bottle of food for me, wow...

They were really nice to me, sniff. But I am a wild mouse and I don't really belong in a house. It's still a little chilly but it's not as frigid as it was before. And I do have this nice bed of leaves to hide in. I do have friends that I want to see again.

I really liked them. Every mouse should find a house with people like them.

Thank you, I had a nice vacation.

Day 352

It’s been nearly a year of isolation. The lack of human contact has finally gotten to me. I long to see someone’s smile. I long to feel the gentle arms of hug.  It seems my only connection with the outside world has been on a computer screen… at least I’ve had that. I couldn’t even fathom living through this without the technology that does provide us with some connection.

 

March 16, 2020, businesses and restaurants were closed in my state because of this scourge they call COVID-19. Life has changed, it will probably never be the same again. Some business has re-opened, maximum capacity is minimal — some businesses are gone for good, financially destroyed forever. There was a time when an evening at a movie theatre was fun, and now it is just a vacant dream as if it never really happened.

 

Each day headlines that appear on online newspapers mention percentages of unemployment and lost jobs due to businesses closing, there are lists of homes being sold by families who can’t afford them anymore, children have been kept from classrooms and parents are concerned that their children will never catch up on their academia, animal shelters have been closed to outsiders making adoption a nearly impossible task. Periodic food shortages, closed fitting rooms, curbside delivery… just so many catchphrases, so many changes.

 

 I read an article that claimed there is an average of nine relatives and close friends who have mourned every death since this pandemic invaded our shores. It’s unfathomable when I do the math. Half a million deaths… “As of March 1, 2021, there have been around 513,090 deaths related to COVID-19 in the United States”…that means there are more than four million people who have mourned for lost loved ones. The numbers are incomprehensible.

 

There’s a glimmer of hope, but we need to be patient. After many failed attempts I finally made it onto a list to receive a vaccine injection. My dreams of LIVING have begun to creep into my daily thoughts. One shot, then wait another 28 days or so for a second, and then another 30 days for the full effect to happen. Even then there is the recommendation to continue wearing masks and to avoid crowds. BUT — there’s the possibility of living life again to see smiles, to hug relatives, to sit in a restaurant for a meal… so many things to look forward to.

 

Three-hundred-fifty-two days to date, almost an entire year and the hope of one day moving on. I look forward to shaking hands in greetings, to watch family children grow-up first hand, and just to be with people.

 

 I can’t wait.

 

 

 

Being in Charge

 

“To succeed, jump as quickly at opportunities as you do at conclusions.”
Benjamin Franklin

 

Talk about challenging, being in charge of an organization that has the power to make decisions for a large group of people is a monumental task… especially when your focus is the true welfare of said people.

 

While you may not always make the best decision, it’s an arduous task to weigh the options — hopefully you are not alone in this task. Perhaps you are part of a Board or a panel that has the combined responsibility. Invariably there are those, not in the arduous position of responsibility, who will claim to “know better” than you (combined or singular). It can be very frustrating.

 

Rely on written guidelines (By-Laws or State/Local laws) as much as you can. Understand that sometimes the “attack” is not really at you but may be a thinly disguised attempt at self-promotion; and yes, sometimes it is simply because the premise you are supporting is not well understood by others.

 

If you have a total of 100 people including eight in charge (just a mild example) and ONE singular person who is pushing a self-focused agenda, it may all depend on the “explanation”. Never be impatient when asked for details, if it is something you can’t say (because you are not allowed to or don’t know), be honest. If someone is asking, they are looking to understand and if you don’t provide the answers the other person MIGHT supply answers they THINK others want to hear.

 

MOST people who take positions “of power”, sitting on a board or taking another leadership role, are well-intentioned, ESPECIALLY IF IT IS VOLUNTARY WITHOUT FINANCIAL COMPENSATION. Sitting in that position of power also makes one a “target”. If you are working in earnest to help the people around you, go by the “book”, are willing to listen to others, and remain humble, then you are just doing the best you can.

 

Don’t ever let someone else’s attack destroy you or discourage your future benevolence. Unfortunately, there are those who may not be honest or transparent with their true intentions — never let them rob you of your decency, never let them discourage your desire and ability to help others.

 

There are all kinds of people in this world, ultimately you are the one who must live with yourself. Continue to be kind and be good.

 

And thank you for your magnanimity. People do appreciate you.

 

Paying It Forward

 

My family experienced a wonderful miracle this past week. My brother (in-law) was hoping for a new kidney, he’s been on the transplant list and going to dialysis three times weekly for the past seven years. He had received a few calls from the hospital to tell him of “possibilities” over the past few months (he was high enough on the list), but unfortunately these calls wound up not being fruitful.

 

However last week he received yet another phone call about a possible donation; the donor was being kept on life support but had sadly lost brain function. Her family made the absolute most generous decision, they authorized organs for transplant — they decided to allow their loved one to save the lives of others in need. I can’t imagine how difficult this decision must have been and I am in total awe at their generosity.

 

My brother arrived at the hospital late at night and received his new kidney the next day. He is home now and healing from this prayed for surgery; he will have to be monitored to ensure that everything is “in working order” but this is the first bright light we have had in seven years. We will never forget this woman and her loving family and will keep them in our prayers as they mourn their loss.

 

It is because of this generosity that I will maintain both our FaceBook page and our website as a place for other hopeful kidney recipients to post their names and contact info; I will also feature some of those on the website. We understand so well what this donation has meant to us and we would love to help others find their prayers answered as well.

 

Please share this information and visit our sites frequently and perhaps we can help another family to find their lifesaving hero.

 

Our FaceBook Page – Del Needs a Kidney

Our Website — A Kidney for Del

One of Those Days

Did you ever have one of those days when you can’t seem to get anything done? Actually, I think I’ve had that feeling almost since mid-March 2020. With places closed, lockdowns, isolating, and almost complete boredom, I feel like I have lost the past year of my life. And as a retiree, I really can’t afford to lose a year here or there!

 

Hubs and I are trying to get an appointment to get the COVID-19 vaccine, our state opened it to our age group a little while back, but there doesn’t seem to be enough supply to go around. I am not thrilled about the idea of taking the vaccine, but I am also not thrilled about the idea of possibly getting sick with the COVID virus. Yes, I do believe there is such a threat out there, it’s not a hoax, I know folks who have had it and while, yes, for some it seemed like a bad case of the flu, I’ve known others who have been hospitalized for months… and I’ve known a couple who have died after getting sick with it. Having a pre-existing condition doesn’t make you die, folks who have had pre-existing conditions have usually lived a lot of years WITHOUT dying.

 

But I digress. I am looking forward to seeing family and friends again, to going into a restaurant with my husband and having a nice dinner out, to going into the local casino (I may not be a big gambler, but I do enjoy that), and most of all not feeling so trapped. I’ve been very blessed to be “isolated” with my husband and to have family and friends who don’t mind spending some time on ZOOM or one of the other internet-based communication methods. I’ve gotten to attend a few conferences VIRTUALLY, I attend my RWA chapter board meetings online, once in a while I sit in my easy chair at home and watch my community’s Board of Directors as they deal with our POA’s business, I had the opportunity to sit in on the live streams of two family weddings, and of course I interact with lots of friends on FaceBook.

 

But I want a feeling of normalcy again. Passover is a little more than a month away and I would love to have my kids and their spouses at the table — last Passover my daughter “hosted” the second seder night on ZOOM. I have a grand niece who will soon be one whole year old… and I’ve never seen her in person. And I miss seeing peoples’ smiles, I want to see mouths again.

 

I LOST A YEAR OF MY LIFE AND
I CAN’T WAIT TO START LIVING AGAIN!
(sorry for the outburst)

 

When life is really open again, I mean when we can get together without counting the heads, when we don’t have to strain to hear each other from behind the masks, and when we can shake someone’s hand and hug our loved ones — what do YOU plan to do first? I’m thinking maybe going to a movie theatre, if any of them are still open that is.

 

 

Pumpkin

Pumpkin was a pussycat, really… he was the very first cat that ever graced our home. A few months after we were married one of Mark’s friends told him about a little orange kitten his wife found; she didn’t go into detail but told her husband that the cat was an orphan. There was a problem though, she was horribly allergic to cats but, thankfully, she realized the little guy needed rescuing.

I had started teasing Mark about starting a family while we were still on our honeymoon, so when Mark heard about the kitten he told his friend, “let me check with my wife.” I was excited and said a definite YES… even though I also had a bit of an allergy to cats.

The next day Mark walked in the door with a tiny little ball of orange fur that fit in the palm of his hand. I had spent the day buying kitten food and play-toys and a litter box — I had never had a pet before (except for a goldfish we called Goldie) so I was asking a lot of questions what this kitten would need. We both looked at this little guy and agreed, we would call him Pumpkin.

Pumpkin’s first meal in his new home was watered down tidbits of canned kitten food (he was probably too young to have been weaned from his mother and I was so scared that he would choke), he was hungry. After he ate all of the small amount I put into the saucer for him, he looked at me and came over mewling until I picked him up. He made himself comfortable lying across my stomach and soon fell asleep. (Mark told me he was probably hearing my heartbeat and was comforted).

There were some terrific adventures as Pumpkin grew. I used to take him with me to visit my parents back in the Bronx, he took to a leash and harness very naturally. My dad adored playing with him, they used to “box” with Pumps on his hind legs and my dad holding his hands up to let the cat swat at him.

It was just before Passover when I received a call that my father had died. I ran out of the house to get to my mom and I never finished putting away some of the Passover groceries we had bought. (I called a neighbor to check in and feed the cat while I was gone) When Mark and I returned home a few days later we found that Pumpkin had “sampled” the corner of each box in the five-pound package of Matza we had bought. That poor cat was so bound up for days!

Shortly after we moved to a lovely ground floor condo where we soon adopted a second cat whom we named Dusty, he was a grey tiger striped cat. Soon Dusty and Pumpkin were inseparable. My mom cleaned out the apartment where she and my dad had lived and stayed with us for a few weeks before traveling to Florida to visit her mother. Mark and I both worked out of the house, Mommy didn’t mind, she loved keeping company with the two cats.

Unfortunately while my mom was away in Florida she suffered a stroke. My sister arranged to have her brought up and checked into a rehabilitation center, she eventually wound up near me. We spoke of getting her a handicapped accessible apartment and she told me she wanted a cat. As luck happened, another stray came around and we adopted him, Peppe; I brought Peppe with me to visit my mom and she fell in love. But sadly mommy died before our plans came to fruition. We kept Peppe, he was after all, my mom’s cat.

Another move, to a house this time with the three cats. This time we did start our family… with children. When our daughter was born we named her for my mom, something Peppe obviously connected with because Jenni “became his person”. As a toddler she got away with “anything” with him, and the bond was strong.

Peppe developed kidney disease and passed away at 14, a hard lesson for each of us. Our children (our son had joined the ranks) loved the cats and treasured time with them. Dusty lived to 18 and Pumpkin to 19. Since then there have been a line of felines to share our home… Shadow, Issabelle, Whiskas, Mario, Tigger and Luigi. Our daughter and son grew into adults and have their own homes with their loved ones. Mark and I made a move to a lovely house in the country, Tigger and Luigi share the house with us.

None of the cats ever replaced their predecessors, each one had their own distinctive personality. Each time one of our fur babies “crossed the rainbow bridge”, they took a little piece of our hearts with them. But each one also left us with so much love and fullness in our hearts that we had more to share. Each cat was adopted, as a stray or from the shelter and with all of their unique personalities they all shared one common trait — anytime we’ve needed a cuddle, they’ve always known and gave us cuddles and love to spare.

Pumpkin & Mark
1976

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